The Shepherd

     Last year, I wrote a short story for Christmas.  My family loved it, and the post had a few thousand hits, so I thought I'd make it a tradition.  I wrote this today, and will read it to my family tomorrow.  It's not edited, but her you go.  I hope you enjoy it.

The Shepherd Who Wouldn’t Leave His Flock

There are two types of shepherds in the world.  One has a flock of sheep, small or large, which are his.  He owns them.  He raises them and watches over them as they graze.  He sheers them, sells their wool, and benefits fully from the sweat of his brow.  The second type of shepherd helps the first type.  He watches other people’s sheep.  No one can look after their sheep every second of every day and night, so other shepherds are recruited to fill in. 

Sadly, this second type of shepherd most often is hired by wealthy men who are not shepherds, at all.  In fact, most of these men have never even laid eyes on their flocks.  All they care about is the money that the wool and meat will fetch at the market.  These men can be cruel and unforgiving.  Because they know nothing of what it means to be a shepherd, they often ask for the impossible.  The second type of shepherd would rather work for the first type, but a shepherd is the humblest of professions, and a man without money to buy his own flock must take work where he can find it.  Thus it was with John.

John was born the son of a shepherd.  His father had taken John with him as he watched over the master’s sheep, and taught John everything there was to know about shepherding.  His father had a problem with strong drink, and most of their meager wages went towards feeding that insatiable thirst.  John’s mother had died in childbirth, and most people said that John’s father drank to forget his pain and loneliness. 

As a young boy, John would often find himself alone, at home, way past suppertime.  There was a kind couple down the path a way who would take him in on those nights.  The woman would click her tongue when she saw John walking down the path towards their humble home, and ask, “Your father’s out drinking again, is he?”  John would just nod, and she’d say, “Well, come in and get yourself a bowl.  I’ve made too much soup as it is.  You can just help us eat it so it doesn’t go to waste.”  John couldn’t remember how the relationship had begun.  For as long as he could remember he’d walked down that path to the neighbors to eat supper when his father didn’t return home at night.

Those were actually the good memories he had from his childhood.  As an adult, he knew just how angelic that old couple was to take in the hungry, motherless son of a poor shepherd who drank too much.  He was certain that the woman began making extra soup every night just on the chance that he would show up at their door.  John made it a habit to pray for the couple’s souls every night in his private prayers.  The couple had long ago passed away, as had Johns father.  The latter having drunk himself to a grave long before his time.  John was left alone in the world with nothing to his name but the knowledge of shepherding his father had passed down.

At first, life was very hard.  Most young men had letters of introduction, or at the very least, their parents took them to an employer to work out terms of employment.  John had no recommendation.  The master his father had worked for had thought that John would turn out to be a drunkard like his father, and had refused to employ him. 

For months, John looked for work as a shepherd.  In the end, he had resorted to begging for his meals.  Begging had almost become his permanent profession until one day he overheard some men speaking about needing a few shepherds for a new landlord who had just bought a large track of land outside of town.  The man was wealthy and lived in another city, but wanted to try his hand in the wool business.  The herd was being shepherded to the lush hills outside of town as the men spoke, and they were in dire need of shepherds.  Apparently, they had wasted the time allotted to them to find shepherds, and now they had less than a day to hire men to do the job.

Both men were dubious when John had offered his services.  By that point, his clothes had become rags, and he was as dirty as the road he was standing on.  Luckily, the men were desperate enough to hire him.  The terms were not fair for a man as well versed at shepherding as John was, but they were generous for a man who looked as desperate as he looked.

John remembered the first meal he was able to buy for himself.  He didn’t think food could ever taste so good.  He worked for four years for the master, and never once met the man.  That was fine by John.  He’d lived most of his life alone.  The company of the sheep was enough.  The flock was large by anyone’s standards.  John worked in tandem with five other shepherds.  There were always two on duty, and the six would rotate shifts.  He slept on the master’s land when he wasn’t working, and spent as little money as he could, saving the rest to buy a place and maybe even a flock of his own someday.

Life was going well until a fateful night robbed John of what little he had left.  One of the many occupational hazards of a shepherd is thieves.  John was watching the sheep when ten horsemen came galloping over the hills on the other side of the massive flock.  The sheep panicked and started to stampede towards John.  Annoyed, John did his best to contain the flock.  Isaac, the other shepherd on duty, was on the side of the approaching horseman.  He rose to meet the horseman, and ask them to ride around so as to not frighten the flock.  In a flash, metal cleared the scabbard of the closest horseman, and he cut down Isaac without a word. 

John’s mood quickly switched from annoyed to panic.  He turned to run, but remembered his life of poverty, and decided it would be better to stay and fight than return to that life.  That decision would forever change his life.  The men didn’t kill John.  They decided, instead, to make sport of him.  He lost a hand and a leg.

The master was so angry with the shepherds for losing his flock that he fired them all.  John had to use all the money he had saved to pay the physician who saved his life.  He found himself once again with no money, no job, and now he was a cripple.  On the bright side, he thought that maybe now he would make a better beggar.

The life of a beggar was not to be, though, as one of the other shepherds had saved enough money to buy a small flock of his own.  The man’s name was Jacob, and he was the only friend John had.  Jacob knew that John was a good shepherd, and invited him to move with him to his birth town of Bethlehem to help watch his small flock.

At first, John didn’t want to take the job.  He was afraid of letting Jacob down.  He didn’t know how much help he could be, missing a leg and a hand, but he decided he’d better not let the opportunity pass.  Jacob bought the sheep in the city Be-er Sheva, and the two herded the small flock the fifty miles to Bethlehem.  It was always better to move sheep far from where they were raised so that none would return to their old home.  The trip served to prove John could still be a shepherd. 

Walking with a crutch was a horrible thing, so John used his staff instead.  He had lost his left hand and right leg.  He tried several different ways of walking, but found that he was able to counter balance his weight as he used the staff as a surrogate leg.  The fifty mile trek to their new home in Bethlehem gave him plenty of practice, but he still grew tired easily, and could not walk nearly as fast as Jacob.  Jacob was sympathetic of his plight, and slowed the flock to match John’s pace.  The journey took twice as long as it should have, but at long last they made it to Bethlehem.

John had never been so far from home.  Home.  That was a funny concept.  John had never felt at home anywhere.  He had a roof over his head as a child, but it wasn’t a home.  He had no roof as an adult, and it wasn’t a home.  He didn’t know what home was.  He was comfortable around Jacob.  But John worried what would happen when Jacob found a woman and decided to marry.  John had no more dreams of saving money to buy his own flock, let alone a plot of land to build a house.  He had worked four years for a rich master, and had barely saved half the money it would take to do such grandiose things.  Working for Jacob would mean survival.  John would be indebted to the man just for his meals.  He knew that the small flock would scarcely fetch enough to feed the two, so John would be working for his meals only.  No, he would never know what home was.

Bethlehem was not like Be-er Sheva.  The local magistrate, King Herod, was a controlling man.  He wouldn’t let shepherds own land, but he recognized the importance of their work so he allowed all the shepherds to share the grazing lands around the city.  John couldn’t imagine such an arrangement.  Shepherds in Be-er Sheva fought over grazing lands, and they owned the land.  He couldn’t imagine what kind of disputes would arise when nobody owned the land.  Jacob assured him that the shepherds were quite civil, but John had a hard time believing it.

His first day of work proved to be difficult.  Walking in a straight line towards a city was one thing.  Keeping track of sheep, and trying to coral them was another.  He had to track down two lost sheep on his first day; one had fallen in a gully, John had no idea how he would get it out without falling in, himself.  Luckily, Jacob was right about the other shepherds.  One of the other men saw his predicament, and rushed to help.  In fact, all of the other shepherds were nice.  The sheep intermingled, and the shepherds knew their sheep well, and the sheep knew them.  When it was time to move a flock, each shepherd had his own call, and all of his sheep would follow him to their new grazing spot.  John was a bit embarrassed that he couldn’t tell his sheep from the others, but the other shepherds were kind, and helped sort them out when they intermingled.  When the sheep were grazing, the shepherds often gathered to talk and share gossip.  John made many friends among the shepherds.  They all held him in high regard for being willing to lay down his life to protect his flock.  He felt a sense of brotherhood he’d never felt before.

Caesar Augustas declared that a census be taken every fourteen years, and the year John and Jacob came to Bethlehem happened to fall on a census year.  The Jewish custom was for everyone to return to their lands of birth to have this census taken, so that families could be counted together.  John had no family, so he saw no need to return to Be-er Sheva.  He’d been living in Bethlehem for a few months now, and counted it as much of a home as any he’d lived in.  The town was flooded with new-comers, which meant plenty of gossip to be shared by the shepherds.  It was a good time for John and his new-found brotherhood.

John thought that it might be fun to go into town and see if he could pick up any tales of faraway lands.  He worked the night watch, so his day was free.  It took him the better part of the morning to get into town.  As he was hobbling through the streets on his one good leg, using his shepherd’s staff as a surrogate leg, a wagon too wide for the small street, and traveling too fast, barreled down on the poor shepherd.  John did his best to get out of the way, but the wagon wheel’s hub clipped his good hip, knocking him to the ground, and bruising his hip deeply.  John could barely stand afterward.  The wagon’s driver didn’t even turn to see if he was okay.  A few of the town’s people helped him to his feet, but once standing, he was left to fend for himself. 

The journey back to the grazing fields was a few miles away, and Johns hip was throbbing with pain before he even made it out of the city.  By the time he made it back to the flock, his shift had long since started.  Jacob was annoyed, but when he saw how bad John was injured, his fury quickly changed to concern.  All of the shepherds on the hill that night gathered around John as Jacob inspected his hip.

As the men were fussing over John, the night suddenly became bright.  The shepherds looked around in awe.  It was long past sunset, but the sky was as bright as day.  They looked up and saw the source of the light.  John could just make out the silhouette of a man, but it was like trying to look at the sun.  He was suddenly overwhelmed with fear.  What was happening?  He turned away from the man at the center of the light, feeling insignificant and unworthy to be around such a person.

The man at the center of the light spoke, “Fear not.”

John was definitely afraid, but the voice of the man soothed him to the very core.  When he looked upon the man again, the light did not burn his eyes as much.  The man radiated like the sun, but the light was more than just light.  The light was warm, and soothing.  It was a feeling John had never felt before.  If he had to guess, he would say that this was what love felt like.

“I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people,” the man said.  John knew, even with his limited knowledge of the gospel that this must be a messenger of the lord.  An angel of God!  “For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.  And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.”

A Savior!  John had gone to Hebrew school when he was young, but he never finished.  His father’s fading health meant more work for John, so he took to filling in for his father instead of going to school.  He knew that a Savior was to be born to free His people, but he couldn’t remember much more about this Savior.

As John was contemplating the wondrous news from the angel, the sky was suddenly filled with them.  They were singing!  At first John was so overwhelmed by the beauty of the sound of thousands of angelic voices that he couldn’t comprehend the words.

As the angelic choir sang their chorus for the third time, John heard the words, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.”

The lights in the heavens slowly dimmed and the stars were shining once again on the lowliest of all men, the shepherds of the fields.  John noticed a new star shining brighter than the rest.  The star seemed to be stationed directly above Bethlehem, like a beacon shinning the way to this Savior child.

The shepherds were quick to agree that they must leave at once to see this marvelous babe.  John attempted to stand, but his injured hip prevented him from doing so.  His stomach sank to his knees as he realized he could not make the journey back to the city.  The other shepherds stopped and tried to help him to his feet, but John stopped them and said, “You go.  I’ll never be able to make the trip with this injury.  Besides, someone has to stay and watch the sheep.” 

Reluctantly, the shepherds all agreed to let John stay and tend to their flocks.  Jacob turned one last time and gave John a sad smile, and then disappeared into the night.  As he vanished into the night, John felt a warm tear scroll down his face.  He wasn’t mad at his predicament, just sad that he would miss chance to see this Savior child for himself.

Several months passed since that fateful night, almost two years, in fact.  John had tried to go to see the babe days later when he could walk again, but the young couple had left the manger and were nowhere to be found.  His brother-shepherds had told him all about the child.  They were in reverenced awe as they looked upon the babe.  His mother was more beautiful than any of them could describe, and they said she was a virgin; that the child was the son of God, himself.  John was so happy that his new friends had had the opportunity to see the babe.  He supposed he’d had a part in that by watching their flocks so that they could go.  He wasn’t jealous of them, but he was sad he’d missed the opportunity.

As he was thinking about the babe one morning on his hill, a young couple came hastily from the city, carrying a baby.  They were running from something, and the fear was painted painfully upon their faces.

“What’s going on,” John asked.

“The King’s gone crazy,” the man said.

“He’s killing all the children under the age of two,” the woman added, with tears streaming down her face.

John couldn’t believe that King Harod would do such a thing, but at the same time, he couldn’t doubt the fear the young couple were displaying.  John showed the young couple the safest way out of the land, where no guards would be posted to stop them, and then he hurried back to the city.

When he arrived in the city, there were guards everywhere.  They were bursting into people’s houses, and to John’s horror, they were, in fact, killing all of the babies.  John saw several young mothers trying to flee with their children.  He was able to gather a few, and smuggle them out of the city and out of the land through the fields he knew so well.

 When John returned again to the city, the sun had long ago set.  He desperately went looking for more families to save.  The guards had made quick work of the gruesome task, and it was obvious that no other women would be running with small precious bundles in their arms.

John, felt sick.  He could only save half a dozen little ones.  He thought of the hundreds of other broken families left to morn their loss.  Such promising futures destroyed in moments.  He wondered if the Savior child was among those slain babes.  As he hobbled back to his hill, he heard a cry from the bushes.  John rushed over to find a young mother trying desperately to hush her young baby.  She looked at him with sheer terror in her eyes.

“I’m here to help you,” John said, as he slowly approached the young mother.  “There are ways out of the land where the guards will not be looking for you.”

The mother looked like she wanted to jump into his arms for comfort, and at the same time, like she wanted to run for her life.  He had never seen such raw terror in someone’s eyes before.

“I will help you escape this land.  I’m a shepherd.  I know the area,” John reassured her.  “Follow me, I’ll show you the way.”

The mother cried as relief washed over her face.  “Thank you! Bless you! Thank you! Thank you,” she uttered over and over.

John rushed as fast as his crippled body would carry him across the fields with the young mother in tow.  When they had reached the edge of the lands controlled by Harod, John heard the approaching hooves of horses.

“Oh no,” he exclaimed.  “They’re coming this way.”

The young mother shrieked in terror as she started to run.  John yelled after her, “There’s a gully ahead, if you can make it there, jump in and turn left.  The soldiers shouldn’t be able to find you.  I’ll try to slow them down.”

He didn’t know if the woman heard him or not, but he hoped that even if she didn’t, he could stall the soldiers long enough to allow her to disappear.  The sun was beginning to rise, and the soldiers would have to look into it to find her.  It would make the task that much more onerous.

John was exhausted.  He couldn’t walk anymore.  He’d been awake all night for his watch, then all day and half the next night helping the first group of young families escape, and the rest of the night running with the last young mother.  His knee was quivering under his weight, and his good arm could scarcely grip his shepherd’s staff.

When he looked up, six armed soldiers had formed a semi-circle in front of him with their horses.  “What can I do for you gentleman,” John asked, trying to hide the fear in his voice.

“That’s the man,” one of the soldiers said, pointing at John with his spear.  “He’s the one I saw trying to hide young babies.”

“I don’t know what you’re…”

“No use lying, shepherd.  There aren’t many one legged, one hand shepherds around,” the captain of the guards said.  “Where are the babies?”

“I assure you, captain, I have no babies.  No woman would want a crippled shepherd for a husband,” John said.

The captain had his sword out.  Before John could think to respond he saw the sword rushing towards his head.  John scrunched his eyes shut and braced for impact.

He never felt the impact.  He tentatively opened one eye, and then the other.  It was much brighter outside.  So bright he couldn’t see very well.  There was a man in front of him, but John’s eyes were still trying to adjust to the bright light.

“This is the man.  The shepherd who wouldn’t leave his flock,” the man said.

John was feeling warm.  He remembered the feeling.  It was the same feeling he’d felt when the angel had visited them in the field.  When he looked at the man again, he recognized him as the same angel who announced The Savior’s birth.

Another voice, deep and soothing, said, “Come here, son.”

John looked over to see a man sitting upon a throne.  He was standing before the man before he even thought to walk over to him.

“My son,” the man said.

“Who are you,” John asked.  “Where am I?  What happened to the soldiers?  What happened to the mother and her baby?”

“The mother is fine.  You saved her and her child.  You saved many children, my son,” the man on the throne said.

“Dad? Is that you,” John asked.  Looking at the man was hard.  He shone brighter than the angel. 

The man laughed.  “I am your father, but not the man who raised you on earth.”

“What happened…”  John looked down and saw that he had his hand back.  He looked at his leg, and it was back in place, good as new.  John just stared at his leg, and then at his hand.

“You have saved my children.  You were a good shepherd; a shepherd who wouldn’t leave my flock to the wolves, and so you are with me again.”

“With you…”

With that, God stood and embraced John.  “Welcome home, son.”

John felt his father’s embraced, and for the first time he was home.

The Mistletoe Promise

     The Mistletoe Promise by Richard Paul Evans, is a modern-day Cinderella story with a twist you haven't seen before.

     I've read The Christmas Box, so I figured I would like this one when my sister-in-law gave it to us for Christmas, and I was right.  I sat down and read it in a few hours (after my 12 y/o daughter read it and I was finally able to get my hands on it.  And I figured it would be a great book to review right before Christmas.

     Elise (protagonist) has a sad, pain-riddled past and lives alone with her grief years after her husband left her.  Her horrible past leads her to believe she deserves the misery she wallows in daily.  Sadly, I know many people like this.  Many days I'm like this.  So the story really resonated with me.

     One day, while eating alone in the food court by her office, a handsome lawyer approaches her with a strange idea; he'd noticed her eating alone for the past several weeks, and since he was also alone, and hated facing the holidays with their many social gatherings alone, he proposed that the two should become a couple just for the holidays.  Being a lawyer.  He comes up with a contract that would protect them both, ensure the platonic nature of their relationship, and swear them both to secrecy so as to avoid any embarrassment should the other tell friends and family of the arrangement.

     I know what you're thinking, "Creepy".  At least that's what I thought as I read the first few chapters, but press on readers.  It's Richard Paul Evans not E. L. James.  This is not smut.  It's a really sweet story.

     Elise agrees to the contract figuring that she had nothing else to lose, and the budding romance begins.  At least it appears that way to friends and family.

     Elise's past catches up to her, and strangely enough, so does Nicholas's (the handsome lawyer), and self-inflicted torment turns to atonement when they face the demons of their pasts.

     We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people.  We all mess up from time to time.  Some people's mistakes are horrific in the sight of others, some are incomprehensible, but a penitent soul will afflict itself far more than any justice system.  This is a book about forgiveness.  Mostly, we need to be able to forgive ourselves.

I give The Mistletoe Promise

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

     First off: Do not worry there are NO SPOILERS in this post.  I would never do that to anybody, no matter how much they ticked me off.

     So, what can I say about the new Star Wars movie?  Well, one word... AWESOME!

     Obviously, I'm a big fan of SciFi/Fantasy.  It's what I watch, read, and write.  So, of course, Star Wars is tops on my list.  If it weren't for George Lucas, CG as we know it would not exist.  He also proved that you don't need sex, vulgarity, and blood/gore to win in the box office.  I wish more of Hollywood would take the hint.

     Okay, so normally this is where I would review the movie, but because of the enormous efforts Disney and Lucas Films put into keeping even the plot a secret, I won't do that.  Instead, I'll tell you about my experience.  We live in a moderate-sized town, but St. George is weird because like half of the people here are retirees.  It's like a mini Florida.  On the other hand, it's also a college town, so there is a ton of stuff to do (Not to mention the red rock outdoorsy aspect of Southern Utah).  So, it is really hard to tell how busy movies are going to be.  Normally, you can get tickets for blockbuster movies at the door.  I knew this would be different, though, so I checked a week in advance.  I was almost too late.  The only show left on opening night was the 2:00 AM showing.  I bought tickets because I had to see this show opening night, before someone ruined it for me.
   
     That day I tried to take a nap so I wouldn't be tired for the show, but it was like Christmas Eve for children.  I couldn't sleep a wink.  When my wife got home from work, we watched Return of the Jedi together so she would remember where the series left off. (I had done a Star Wars marathon all by myself for the previous couple of days, but didn't mind seeing XI again).  Now, my wife is not a complete nerd like me.  She humors me most of the time because she loves me, and she lets me drag her to all my dorky movies, but her heart isn't usually in it. (Heck, I can't even get her to read my books because she really isn't in to Fantasy)  But she was kind of excited for this movie.

     The theater was only about half full, and we actually ran into a few people we knew.  Then...  The movie started and the saga continued!

     I loved the movie!  I was so scared that J.J. Abrams would mess it up, but, you guys, he did so well!  It fits perfectly with what you would expect from the Star Wars franchise.  They even went back to classic models instead of straight CG in a lot of the parts.  BB-8 is a perfect example of this.  And I still have no idea how that little droid works.  His body is a rolling ball, and his head levitates on the top.  I'm sure it some sort of magnet magic, but it was just really cool.  (And he was my wife's favorite character.  She would get all giddy and squeal that, "he's so cute" every time he was on screen)

     It was awesome to see all of the old cast.  It actually gave the film a strong nostalgic aspect.  The new cast is great, as well... for the most part.

     Daisy Ridley plays Rey (one of the new main protagonists).  She's multi-dimensional, believable, and beautiful.  I really enjoyed her role.  I love how the franchise take relatively unknown actors, and is so easily able to place them perfectly in a role, as if they were born to play that character.  Daisy hates this, but when she smiles she looks just like Keira Knightley, which made her all the more endearing to me.

     John Boyega plays Fin (The second protagonist, yes the story could follow either of these two characters, though Rey seems to be the more likely candidate).  Now, I loved the potential for Fin, as a character.  A storm trooper who runs from his duties (no, that's not a spoiler, it's in the trailers), but John seemed to only have two acting faces; bewilderment, and scared.  My wife said that that was his character, so he was perfect for the role, but it just sort of bugged me through the whole film.

     Oscar Isaac plays Poe Dameron.  Dare I say, "The new Han Solo"?  Poe is just... awesome.  You instantly love/hate him.  The best pilot the rebels have ever seen, and he knows it.  I really hope he takes a major role as the story continues.

     Adam Driver plays Kylo Ren (The new Sith).  This was the only disappointing character for me.  At the risk of saying too much: All the other Sith Lords take on two Jedi at a time (or more in the case of Anakin), and still kick butt, but Kylo has awesome new powers, and is kind of pathetic when it comes to the fights.  Plus, they unmask him way too soon.  I can't say more without saying too much, so you'll just have to see if you agree with me when you watch the film.

     Andy Serkis plays the Supreme Ruler.  I won't say anything about him.  I just wanted you all to know that they got Golem/Smeagol in The Force Awakens!

     There are two other characters who will probably play a big role in the coming films, but I didn't really pay attention to them in this one: Domhnall Gleeson (plays General Hux) and Gwendoline Christie (plays Captain Phasma).  I didn't really pay a lot of attention to them during the movie, but afterward, I watched the red carpet interviews, and apparently they were important enough to get a lot of attention.  I have no idea why.

     In short, if you are a Star Wars fan, go see it. (Like I really need to tell you?)  If you're not a Star Wars fan, go see it.  You can bring kids, it's PG-13 but spongebob has more inappropriate stuff in it than this movie.  You can take your girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, grandma/grandpa, mom/dad, etc.  I think just about anyone would like this movie.  In fact, after we saw the movie opening night, we bought tickets for several family members for Christmas presents, and tickets for us and the kids to see it again in D-box.

     I can't wait until XIII comes out!

NaNoWriMo

     So, as you can see, I won NaNoWriMo this year!  I wasn't very good at updating my word count every day, but I got 54k words in November.  I know, December is almost over, so this is really old news, but I'm posting this anyway.  It's a pretty significant accomplishment for me considering the year I've had.

     This year has been a nightmare for me.  I lost my license, tried going without seizure meds for a while which really messed up my ability to think and process information because I was having seizures every other day, and then had to re-acclimate  to the meds when I started taking them again.  I have been scatterbrained most of the time for the last year, at best, and incoherent for days at a time while I was off my meds.  It's only been the last couple of months that I've been able to think clearly enough to write.

     I'll be trying to get back on track with the blog.  I have a wait list of hundreds of books to read and review, a bunch of movies to review, and of course I need to finish my third book.

     I'm looking at what is popular right now in the movie and book world, and I'm really excited.  Fantasy is making a comeback, so I have a better chance at connecting with an audience.  Money would be great, but I think what I need more than anything is to have my work appreciated.  I want an audience.  I like what I write, and I'd like to share that with people.  I have a story to tell, but I've often felt that I'm just shouting it to the void.  So, my goal for 2016 will be to build an audience by interacting more with all of you.  The writing is only half the job.

     I would love to hear from you.  Please feel free to comment, question, share, and reblog anything.  I'd love to hear from you, and am looking forward to starting a conversation, hopefully about a shared interest in the world of the Fantasy genre.

Seizure medicine test

     Hello to all my readers.  I'm sorry I've been away for so long.

     No, I haven't died.

     No, I haven't thrown in the towel with my writing.

     As most of you know, I've been struggling with some major health issues.  There are a lot of things going on, but the big one we're dealing with right now is seizures.  I mostly have nocturnal seizures, and I've been able to lessen the severity and frequency of those with medicines, but we haven't been able to find the right combo to get them to stop altogether.

     Well, recently the state revoked my driver's license.  I didn't drive a lot, and never when I felt a seizure coming on (yes, I have precursors to let me know I might have a seizure.  I guess I'm lucky that way.  Most people don't know until it happens, but I feel dizzy and just not right on the days before I have seizures.), but it was a difficult thing to deal with when they took away my license.

     We had kids enrolled in summer activities to keep them from getting bored.  My oldest daughter had a part in a play at an armature theater in our town.  My youngest is in a competitive dance company.  And we have rec center passes to beat the heat.   When we received the notice from the state that my license was revoked, we were going to pull our kids out of everything.  Luckily, we have some angel-like neighbors who found out, and volunteered to be chauffeurs for the summer.  I can never fully express my gratitude for that magnificent show of kindness.  My kids miss out on so much anyway because of my bad health.  I was elated to find that the world still held wonderful people like those around us that are willing to help.

     Now, I'm stuck at home,  we live several miles from the closest... anything, and so I'm trapped here.  Because of my other health issues, mainly nausea and vomiting, my wife thought it might be a good idea to try backing off all medicines to see if we could get the nausea to stop.  It would mean more seizures, but I'd already lost my license, so there wasn't a lot more that could go wrong except dealing with the aftermath of the seizures and the occasional bumps and bruises that accompany them. (I don't have the severe seizures that can cause brain damage, so just having a seizure isn't necessarily harmful... At least we don't think they are.)  So, I tapered off my medicines.

     And that is why I've been absent in my writings and reviews.

     I've had a seizure about every 2-3 days since I've stopped.  I've also had major issues with concentration and memory because of the frequency of the seizures.  I know, I know, why not jump right back on the meds, right?  Well, my wife and kids all noted a significant improvement in my attitude.  It makes sense that a medicine which directly affects the brain my cause mood swings and whatnot, but I guess dealing with all the pain, nausea, dizziness, and stuff I hadn't noticed it.  Plus, I think that the medicines kind of dull your senses.  At any rate, I agreed to a full month to see the full effect of the test, and then when the month was up, I agreed to another month to allow time for the medicines to fully leave my body.  I'm just trying to deal with the stages of alertness and utter confusions in this roller coaster of seizure brain and normal brain.  It's been difficult, to say the least.

     I have a fairly uncommon side-effect after seizures called Todd's Paralysis.  It affects mostly my ability to speak, so I'm mute for about a day after my seizures, then I have a normal day, then I seize again.  It's been a rough couple of months.  I've tried writing, but my fingers don't work that well when I try typing after a seizure, and on days I don't seize, I'm still a stay-at-home daddy with a never-ending list of chores and three kids to take care of.  Playing make-up after a day or two in bed is all I have time for.

     I'm hoping to get in more posts here, and I appreciate everyone's patience, especially those who have sent me books to read and review.  I'm working on them.

     Even if I start the medicines again today it'd be a month or two before I actually got to see any improvement, so I expect to be in and out for the next few months.  Bear with me, and thank you for your continued support.  We're trying to figure out so many problems, sometimes it's hard to decide which is worse, and which we want to address.

Again

   

     Two weeks ago I had two seizures in the week.  Last week I was just trying to get my life back together and dealing with some depression issues, and again this morning I had another seizure.  We don't know what is going on other than I've been weaning off of a seizure med that was causing some problems, and that may be triggering all of the seizures.  They mess me up pretty bad, especially when I'm dealing with my regular health problems.  I was pretty down last week as a result, and the only thing that kept me going was my little brother's wedding which was on Saturday.  It was good to see my whole family because we live four and a half hours away, so we don't get to see them very much.  But the whole trip took a lot out of me, and now I'm stuck in bed, can't talk because of the seizure, and feeling completely drained.

The Undecideds Chapt. 7

Chapter 7

                The council chamber was surprisingly full.  The room itself was enormous.  It had to be to accommodate any type of spirit beast might accompany the diverse council members.  White fluted columns held up a domed ceiling.  The room was built in a semicircle so that all present would be facing the Head Councilman.  In their case there were two, Saul and Claudia.  A few High Chancellors from the Angel’s Guild often sat behind the pulpit, along with a transcriber, and occasionally a delegate from one of the five major Guilds who was presenting a new law to be voted upon by the council.  Today, there were representatives from all factions of all the guilds.  Saul wondered why everyone decided to be here today.  There weren't any major laws being discussed, and none of the councilmen were presenting any new laws to the council that he knew of.  It was strange to see half this many council members on a day like today.  A flutter of worry tickled at his stomach that somehow everyone knew that the daughter of the two head council members had run away the day before.  He didn’t know how it could be so, but it seemed that everyone was watching him as though he were a bug in a box.

                Claudia was conducting herself as usual.  She didn't seem to be bothered in the least that everyone was in attendance.  The meeting had started as they all do.  Everyone announced themselves and which province they represented.  Of course, that part took longer than usual as there were four to five times more council members present than usual.  The council’s irrevocable law was stated and each representative gave their oath to uphold the time tested ideals on which the council was founded.

                After the last member gave their oath, Claudia began to move on to the issues placed before the council for that morning.  She was halfway through thanking everyone for being there when the head of the Demon Guild interrupted her.  “And what of the Head Councilwoman’s oath?”

                “Excuse me, Chairman Charrander?”

                “Excuse me for interrupting Madam Head Council Woman.  But shouldn't the heads of the council also give their oath, as all of us have,” the tenacious councilman said with an air of contempt.

                To her credit, Claudia didn’t even bat an eye.  She calmly stood, raised her arm to the square, and repeated the oath, “For peace, for love, for harmony, for all, I swear my oath to the laws of the ancients passed down through the generations to allow all to live in peace and harmony.” 

                As she lowered her arm, she looked meaningfully at Saul.  He immediately stood and gave his oath; staring down the Demon Guild’s chairman the whole time.  Saul’s angel didn’t like the man, nor his spirit beast, and she was not afraid to make it known.  The blue flame of justice ignited around her, and her flaming sword appeared in her hand. 

                Councilman Charrander was an older man.  His hair was gray, except for a small patch in front and to the left of his head, which was stark black in contrast to the rest of the thick, curly, neatly kept hair.  His spirit beast was a large demon.  Larger than most.  It stood about twenty feet tall, had goat legs with a humanoid torso, a long red tail which ended in a spade shape, two long horns made of flame protruded from the bull-like face of the creature, and bat wings with a twenty-foot wingspan.  His demon had a giant warhammer which could ignite with hellfire.  Neither the councilman, nor his beast reacted to Saul’s angel’s outburst.  Saul supposed they were used to seeing the female angel on the brink of battle when in their presence.  She had little tolerance for them.  It was easy for Saul to see why the ancient war burned on for centuries.  The opposing beasts could scarcely bear to be in the same room with one another.

                Claudia gave Saul a tight smile of appreciated and returned her gaze to the incorrigible councilman.  “Thank you, Councilman Charrander, for reminding us.  It is good for us all to remember the reason we are all here in peaceful talks and negotiations instead of in arms trying to destroy one another.”  Her lips smiled at the man, though her eyes did not. 

                Claudia addressed the rest of the council, “Now, there have been reports of bandits in the lands North of…”

                “So, do you mean to say that you truly do intend to keep all of the dictates of the ancient law,” the Demon Guild’s chairman interrupted again.  When Claudia looked at him, there was a hint of fire behind those kind blue eyes.  Her cheeks mantled a bit.  Councilman Charrander spread his arms out helplessly and said, “I mean, really?  No matter what?  You will obey all of the dictates of the old law, will you not?”

                Claudia took a calming breath.  “I have given my oath, along with every council member here.  I and my husband know better than most how important those dictates are, Councilman Charrander.  Perhaps if you had to solve every petty dispute between the different guilds, you too would understand that the law is irrevocable.  Those in ancient times came to the dictates of the law after centuries of war, death, and suffering.  I’m sure many of them signed the peace treaty standing next to those very men and women who had murdered a loved one.  You are mistaken if you believe I would waver on even the smallest point of the law.”  Her glare became cold as she locked eyes with the man.

                Again he held his arms out helplessly, “I wouldn’t dream of saying you wouldn’t, Madam Head Chairwoman.  And I can quite understand the difficulty you speak of.  Why, I have difficulty enough just trying to appease the different factions within my own guild.  I couldn’t begin to imagine how difficult it must be to uphold peace between overtly opposite guilds.”  It was all an act for the other council members, Saul knew, but the man had a silver tongue.  “I just mean to say, that there are times when upholding the law must be difficult.”

                “I cannot imagine a scenario where difficulty upholding the law would outweigh the pain and difficulty of returning to the savage days of war,” Claudia said, flatly.  By now, her angel was not sitting at ease behind her.  He too had materialized his weapons.  The sight of the silver trident and shield in the large male angel’s hand were enough to make the council members in the front row lean back to put some distance between themselves and the powerful spirit beast.  Unlike Saul’s angel, Claudia’s was slow to anger.  At home, Claudia was all business and ran a tight ship, so to speak.  The children probably feared her more than he.  His angel never seemed to be angry at home.  Her greatest pleasure in life was the children.  She had never shown them anything but a smiling loving face.  At work, the two switch roles as easily as one would change shoes.  His angel became a heated fireball at the smallest hint of opposition, while Claudia’s angel always sat relaxed in the background.  He was ever watchful, but rarely provoked to any reaction aside from feigned indifference.  Those in the council knew he was anything but indifferent.  His eyes never stopped moving when they were in council.  The male angel was always on guard, but never let those around him know it.  To see him in arms alarmed even Saul. 

                “That is good,” Councilman Charrander said.  He turned to face the rest of the council, “because I have learned that there has been a bit of disharmony in your home, of late.  It seems that not only have you lost your oldest son, but now you have lost a daughter.”  He turned back towards Claudia with an evil grin.  Her angel was ablaze now, with an angry orange flame.  Some of the council members gasped audibly.  Councilman Charrander did not.  “I would hate to lose faith in our beloved Head Councilwoman because she was more worried about her daughter than the ancient laws.”  He pretended to think, and then added, “I just wonder what is happening in our most trusted leaders’ home that would cause not one, but two children to run away.”

                This time Claudia didn’t try to hide her displeasure.  “You tread a very dangerous path, Samuel.  I will not abandon the laws of peace to save one person.”  Her voice cracked a bit.  “Even if that person is my own daughter.  It’s true that she has run away.  There was a fight at her school, and instead of handling, her principal called us in to deal with it.  We told her to handle it herself.  I can see now how that must have appeared to our dear daughter.  She must have been hurt, thinking we didn’t care.”  Her voice regained a bit of its strength.  “Most of you here are parents.  You understand that we were acting in Rachel’s best interest.  A parent can’t always rescue their child.  Children need to learn to work out their own problems at some point in their lives.  We wouldn’t be good parents if we solved all of hers for her.  Just as we don’t solve all of your problems when you bring them to us, we can’t solve our children’s.  The must grow to be strong, just as each of your factions have grown stronger when you figure out how to rule yourselves.”  She turned again to Councilman Charrander.  “I will not break the laws and go to rescue her.  She has made the choice to leave our protective care.  It is written in ancient law that she must be free to choose.  Even at her tender age, she must be free.  I will not take that freedom from her because it would be precedence for others to do the same, and we all know that sometimes children leave because they are in danger. Sometimes they fear that they are endangering their families.  We can’t know.  We are linked to our beasts, but only once that union has been solidified can control be established.  If not control, then understanding.  It breaks my heart as a mother to think of my child out there alone in a dangerous cruel world.  But I would not risk the lives of countless others who run away because they fear for the lives of their spirit beast, or because they fear for the lives of the spirit beasts of their families to save my own daughter.  For all I know, she could have left for one of these reasons.  Perhaps her beast has turned into a demon, perhaps a predator and she fears it will maul those of her siblings.  I don’t know her reasons, but I’ll not break the law to go find out.”

                Councilman Charrander turned to face the rest of the council.  “So she says.  A mother who drives not one, but two of her children from her own house can hardly be trusted, can she?”

                In a flash an orange flame vaulted the pulpit and first two rows of chairs and council members.  Councilman Charrander was on the third row, he now had a flaming trident against his neck.  Before Saul could react, a giant hammer was crashing down on his wife’s angel.  He heard a sickening crushing sound and the hammer made contact with the stone floor of the council chambers.  The councilman’s giant demon had crushed his wife’s angel.  Saul heard a scream.  It took several minutes to realize that his throat was sore.  It was him who was screaming.  His angel vaulted the pulpit.  Blue flame was all he could see as she streaked across his plane of sight.  A mighty swing of her sword threw the giant demon across the room.  It managed to get its warhammer up in time to block the blow, but the force was such that it took him from his feet, and one hundred paces across the room until a giant marble pillar stopped him.  The demon stood on unsteady legs.  Saul’s angel backhanded Councilman Carrander, sending him soaring across the room to land next to his spirit beast.  The female angel had tears streaking down her cheeks.  She was beyond reconciliation.  There was nothing Saul could do to stop her.  Nothing short of the blood of both the councilman and his spirit beast would soothe her anger.  Saul ran to stay close to her.  If she ran too far, she may sever the link between them and kill them both.  As he ran, he saw something moving in the rubble left by the giant hammer.  He didn’t have time to stop, though.

                Saul was only halfway to his angel, and she was in pitched battle with the giant demon.  Council members were scattering in every direction, most falling over themselves trying to get out of the way.  None dared to try to interrupt the two powerful beasts.  The giant war hammer came crashing down on Saul’s angel, but her sword met the swing.  The floor under the angel cracked with the impact, but her arms didn’t so much as tremble as she pushed the hammer up away from her.  She heaved up mightily, and the demon lost its footing almost tumbling backwards.  In a flash, the sword slashed through its closest leg.  Blood splattered across the pure white column of the council room.  The horrible beast cried out in pain.  The fire around the sword seared the flesh and hair of the goat legs, filling the room with a shock of metallic smelling blood along with a pleasant aroma of cooked meat.

                The councilman came to his feet just has Saul cut the remaining distance between him and his angel.  He snatched the irate Charrander just in time to save him from his angel.  If he tried to interfere with the battle, she would cut him down as surely as if he were his demon.  Saul struggled to hold the old man’s arms behind his back.

                With a whoosh of air, his angel took flight.  The giant demon was still teetering, trying to catch his balance and keep from falling backwards.  With a quick flap of her wings, Saul’s angel darted at the demon’s chest.  The blow not only knocked him back, but threw him another twenty feet back.  The large demon’s wings snapped as they made harsh contact with the unforgiving floor.  Before he even settled fully on the floor, she was standing on his chest with her sword poised for the kill.

                “Enough!”

                Saul jumped at the powerful authoritative voice coming from the pulpit.  There stood Claudia, unharmed.  He looked at the rubble where he thought her angel was smashed, only to see him standing there with his trident ready to throw should the battle turn against his love.  There was a large hole in the ground next to him.  He must have got his shield up in time to block the blow, but the impact drove him into the ground.

                Saul’s angel stood panting on the great demon’s chest.  The fire in her eyes faltered at seeing her love alive and well, but she wasn’t willing to back off just yet.  He had tried, that was all that mattered.  Saul knew well her character.  He had tried to kill her love.  That threat was worthy of death, in-and-of itself.  The demon lay on its back, the war hammer having been knocked out of his grasp lay a goodly distance away.  His wild eyes were wide open, looking at the angel on his chest poised to kill him.  Saul wasn’t sure, but it looked almost as if the great demon were surprised beyond reason that a creature one third its size could so easily overpower him. 

                There was a reason Saul and Claudia were Head Council members.  Their spirit beasts possessed powers beyond just outward appearances.  Saul’s angel was many times stronger than any giant-type monster.  Claudia’s was tougher than even Saul knew, apparently.

                “Enough, I said,” Claudia repeated. 

                Saul reluctantly let go of Councilman Charrander’s arms.  His angel was less forgiving.  She looked at Claudia, then at her angel, then back at the monstrous demon.

                “It’s okay,” Saul said.  He urged her through their bond to back down, but felt only anger and resistance.  She did not want to let a possible threat go unpunished.

                “Cindell, please,” Claudia begged.  “Let’s not spoil the sanctity of peace these halls have enjoyed for thousands of years.  Especially over petty words of hatred.”

                Saul’s angel looked back at Claudia.  Saul could feel her frustration.  She wanted nothing more than to end the life of this wretched beast who had so often brought out her ire.  She took a step closer to the demon’s face.  She stomped her foot, and her weapon dematerialized. 

                Just as she turned to walk off of the beast, it laughed.  Saul groaned inside.  His angel turned in a huff.  In a flash she reached out and grabbed the golden ring through the bull nose, and tore it out with a powerful yank.  The demon howled and covered his bleeding nose.  Sauls angel smirked and took wing, landing gracefully at Saul’s side.  He still had his face buried in his hand.

                “You’re not fit to rule this council,” Charrander yelled.

                “It seems we’re the perfect pair to rule this council,” Claudia retorted.  “We’re the only ones strong enough to keep you, and those like you, from getting it in their heads that they can overthrow the ruling power of this council.”  Councilman Charrander was about to sputter off a harsh remark, but Claudia held up a hand, silencing him.  “Don’t try my patience any farther Samuel.  It’s taking all my resolve to keep my angel under control.  He wants to tear your demons arms from his body and beat the two of you to death with them.  Don’t test me any farther Councilman.  Just don’t!”

                The man reluctantly stepped down, face red, and shaking with rage.  His spirit beast was having difficulty getting up.  Its wings were both broken, and the shin of the leg Cindell had cut was bleeding profusely.  The poor creature was holding its nose in agony, and couldn’t decide which wound hurt worse. 

                Saul’s angel was in the arms of her love; Claudia’s angel.  Saul wanted nothing more than to do the same to his dear wife, but he knew it wouldn’t be appropriate.  Instead, they shared a loving look.  Claudia gave him a tight smile then turned back to the council.  Council men and women were all pressed against the far walls of the great room.  Spirit bests were hiding in open terror of what they had just witnessed.  Even the predators were trying to stay out of the sight of the two powerful angels.  The demons were cowering like the worms they were.

                “That’s enough of that,” Claudia announced.  “Get back to your seats.  We have business to conduct.”  The council members reluctantly returned to their seats.  Apparently the upheaval they were promised in session today was not what they had expected.  Saul couldn’t help but be a little perturbed.  They all wanted to see the Angel Guild fall from power.  They didn’t seem to realize that it was the Angel Guild which kept them all safe, and war at bay.  Saul supposed that it was natural to want change, and the Angel Guild had been in charge for close to three thousand years now.  But those three thousand years had been peaceful.

                Councilman Charrander looked considerably humbler.  His demon had finally made it to its feet.  The demon studiously avoided the gaze of either of the angel, or their masters.  At least there was that.

                “I will see to it that my daughter is treated equally as any other runaway,” Claudia continued.  “She will get no special treatment, though I wish I could because of my love for her.  If she is to come back to the family, it will only be if she develops an angel spirit beast.  For now, she will be an outcast.  She will have to find her true place in Qualia duo, as do each of us.”

                Saul felt tears well up in his eyes with the finality of it all.  He had hoped nobody would find out, and they could take their daughter back with no incidents.  It appeared that the Demon Guild was watching them closer than they had thought.  They were always vying for power, like vultures circling an animal in the desert, the slightest hint of weakness and they would descend upon the carcass of what was now the council.  Nobody knew, but the balance of power was more precarious now than ever in the last three thousand years.  There was talk of real revolution.  Saul feared what such a revolution would do to their society.

The Many Lives of Ruby Iyer

     The Many Lives of Ruby Iyer by Laxmi Hariharan is a YA Thriller set in Bombay.

     I want to start by saying that I wish I had Mrs. Hariharan's grammar.  She has perfect punctuation.  Secondly, this is the first Indie book I've read where the author does the inner thoughts of the protagonist in a way which is not distracting.  The quick, italicized thoughts actually add to the story instead of distracting from its natural flow.  I know this sounds funny, but it actually makes a big difference in the reader's experience.

     Ruby Iyer, our protagonist, is a strong willed, independent young woman living in Bombay with her best friend, Pankaj Verma (Panky).  The action starts when there is an accident at the railway.  Escaping death, but not the life-threatening shock of touching the live wires fueling the train, Ruby ends up in the hospital wondering how she survived the ten thousand volts running through her body.  Something has happened to Ruby; either the shock changed her, or it awakened something already inside.  The world also seems to have turned upside down.  

     Soon after the accident Panky is kidnapped.  Ruby teams up with a young cop named Vikram Roy to find out what happened to Panky.  It turns out that Bombay is under assault by a teen army bent on taking over the world.  The head of this army is a Dr. Kamini Braganza.  The "kiddie army", as Ruby likes to call it, has Panky.  Ruby and Vikram rampage through the city, saving strangers, running for their lives, and pretty much just kicking butt everywhere they go, ending in a kind of battle royal.

     Ruby is a wild character.  I don't know if Mrs. Hariharan was trying too hard to make her an action hero, if she was trying to accentuate a teen's violent mood swings, or what, but Ruby is borderline psychotic.  She has a violent temper, and cuts herself, among other things. The situations are a bit extreme, though, so perhaps it's simply reactionary to a world gone mad, but she seems to be pre-made that way.

     I've never been to Bombay, nor India for that matter, but Mrs. Hariharan has a great way of setting the scene without turning into Stephen King (10 pages to tell you it was raining, uhhg).  Even with the fast pace of the book, the reader is always in the scene.  It's quite a remarkable talent.

     There is a lot of language throughout.  I know we're all about pushing boundaries in today's society, but I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you're writing for kids, write for kids.  Teenagers are kids.  YA should be written for young adults.  PG-13 movies don't have multiple "F" words, and neither should YA novels.  I know teenagers want to be adult-like, and I know they probably curse more than most adults, but, call me crazy, I think authors should take a little more responsibility when writing for kids.  On the plus side, and unlike most of the supposed "YA" I've been receiving lately, there's no unnecessary teenage sex! Yay!  Just a lot of violence and language.

     I didn't connect with Ruby very well, but the story and the descriptive language made up for the disconnect with the protagonist.  The language was out of place for YA, in my opinion, and it was fairly violent, so, over all, I'd have to give the story

Mrs. Hariharan also wanted me to post this link for an I-phone 6 give away

     

a Rafflecopter giveaway

     

Another Seizure

     I had another seizure on Monday, and I didn't get anything posted.  I'm trying to finish up the book I'm reviewing this week and get a review written to post today.  

Funny

Henry Ford

     "Whether you think you can or can't... You're right."  Henry Ford.

     Among his many other incredible life achievements, Henry Ford was an author.  He didn't invent the automobile, nor the assembly line, but he saw the two and meshed them together to create an automobile most families could afford.  By industrializing assembly lines, he could pay employees more, and charge less for the finished product all while amassing a fat pocketbook.  He became a person of global interest, and wrote about his life in My Life and Work.  He was also a pacifist, and used his world fame to speak his mind about WWI.  Some of his work (The International Jew) was ill-received, and probably rightfully so, but he wrote his mind.  His work is standard reading in most business schools today.

     We all have the chance to be a "Henry Ford", but imagine what the world would be like if Ford had given in to that negative voice which plagues us all at one point or another saying, "You can't do that because..."?  How many other incredible ideas, inventions, etc. has the world been robbed of because of the, "I can't's"?  Are you a Henry Ford, or just another person who will only accomplish a small percentage of their dreams.  

     Whether you think you can or you can't you're right.  Push for what you want.  Don't let your hopeful inner child die because of the "real world".

The Undecideds Chapt. 6

     Once again... raw stuff.  I had fun writing in my other book today, though.  The story got away from me a little bit today, though.  I did some things that surprised me!

Chapter 6

                Rachel never really gave any thought as to where she would go.  At first she almost turned around and went home, but then she would think about having to go back to school and face all the other students and the principal again, and she renewed her determination.  She thought about going to go to Maddie’s house, but she knew that her parents would just turn Rachel in to her own parents, and Rachel couldn’t bear to face them again. 

Arabelle city was the center of the civilized world.  The city itself was divided into five sections like a pie with pieces cut out.  She grew up in the Angel Guild’s section of the city.  The other four were the four other major guilds, and the center was the grand council where all the guilds’ representatives ruled their respective guilds.  That would be where her parents were; working as always.  Rachel wanted to stay as far away from the city center as she could, but she knew she couldn’t stay in the Angel Guild’s section either because somebody would recognize her and take her home.  She decided the best place to go was the Prey Guild’s section.  The only problem was that she would have to go through the Demon Guild’s section to get to it.  She could go the other way around, but she would have to go through the Predator’s Guild section, and the Aviary Guild’s section to get to it.  Both would be dangerous with only a ball of fur for a pet.  Predators often killed the pets of their own kin because they couldn’t control their instinct.  And predatory birds in the Aviary Guild were no better.  But the Demon Guild was something altogether more dangerous.  She fussed and fussed about which way would be worse; two dangerous sections, or one really dangerous section. 

While she was thinking about her choices, she walked.  Several minutes later, she realized she was walking towards the Demon Guild’s section.  Rachel stopped with cold realization.  She was scared to death in the Demonology class, and now she was going to go walking through the Demon Guild’s section of the city.  She started to turn away, but stopped when she thought of the great cats and wolves of the Predator Guild ripping apart her little ball of fur.  She looked down at her little ball of fur.  “What do you think we should do?”

The ball rolled around a little.  She felt a small pull in her mind in the direction of the Demon Guild’s section.  She could feel fear from her ball of fur.  It was strange.  She had rarely felt anything from it.  And this was the first time she had ever felt its influence in a decision.  Her spirit beast did not want to go to the Predator Guild’s section of the city.  In spite of everything that was happening, Rachel smiled.  For the first time she was actually communicating with her spirit beast.  Perhaps she would eventually be able to talk to it as it seemed everyone else was able to do with their spirit beasts.  She turned back towards the Demon Guilds section, and started walking.  Then she felt a tug in her mind pulling in a different direction.

Rachel stopped and looked down at her ball of fur again.  “You want me to move farther away from the city before we go into the Demon Guild’s section?”  The little ball rolled around excitedly.  She could feel its enthusiasm for the idea.  “Ok,” she said with a smile.  “I suppose it would be better if we were outside of the city, altogether.  That way we would have less of a chance to run in to any people at all.”  The ball bounced up and down.  Rachel smiled again.  “Good idea...  hmm.  I don’t even know what to call you.  We’ve never really spoken before.  I think it’s time you had a name.”  The ball bounced again.  “Should I call you Wendy?”  The ball stopped bouncing.  Rachel laughed.  “Okay, okay.  Not Wendy.  I don’t even know if you’re a boy or a girl.  Are you a girl?”  The ball shook back and forth.  “A boy?”  The ball bounced up and down again.  Rachel giggled.  “Okay, so boy names, hmm.  Let me think.  Rob?  Paul?  Sam?”  The ball shook with each name.  “hmm, maybe animal names?”  The ball bounced again.  “So, fluffy?”  It stopped bouncing, and Rachel could feel its disgust for the name.  She laughed again.  “Okay, not fluffy.  Spot?  Tiger?  Rex?”  The ball shook with each name.  “Stripes?”  the ball stopped shaking, and Rachel could feel that it was thinking over the name.  At last it bounced up and down.  “Stripes.”  Rachel smiled again.  “Let’s hope you don’t turn out to be a spotted animal.”  The ball of fur stopped bouncing, and Rachel could feel that it was a little worried.  “It’s okay,” She reassured him.  “Even if you’re and angel, stripes is a good name.”  The ball bounced again.

Rachel looked up at where she was walking. “Here, you lead.” She told her ball.  She was determined to get to the Prey Guild’s section of the city, but she still had anxiety over passing through the Demon Guild.  At least now she had a friend.  She was actually talking to it.  Him.  She corrected herself quickly, so she wouldn’t offend her little Stripes.

Rachel’s head jerked at every sound; A car whizzing by, or some person from a distance walking.  She pulled the hoodie she’d brought along over her head, in attempt to stay hidden.  At times, she had to hide out behind some bushes or in an alley way so as not to be seen.  She couldn’t blow her cover or her parents would find her.  She was mad that she had to run away.  She was mad at the way she was treated.  She was mad at the Angel Guild.  But mostly, she was mad at her parents.  It was their fault she was in this mess to begin with.  She was so angry she threw caution to the wind and jumped on a free train that wove its way through the city so she could get away faster.  This one went right to the city edge and a little beyond.  Rachel sat with her hoddie covering her face the whole ride.  Most of the people on the train were too preoccupied with their own thoughts to notice her, anyway.  When the train got to the last station, just outside Arabelle, Rachel quickly exited, and started walking away as fast as her legs would permit without running.

As she walked farther from the city she realized the houses were getting smaller.  Between some of them were little homemade box shelters used by desperate people. She covered her mouth as she watched little children with caved in bellies play ball out in the rocky street. She ducked behind a bush so she wouldn’t be seen. The children might as well have been wearing rags. Their clothes looked as if they’d been handed down from seventeen different people who’d died in those clothes.  But the children all looked happy enough, just playing ball with their friends; happier than anyone Rachel had ever seen.  She blinked and even rubbed her eyes to make sure she was seeing right.  The children were still wearing the rags, still had those caved in bellies, and they were still beaming and laughing at the game they’d made up.  Rachel shook her head.  If she were in that situation, she’d be scrounging for food, not playing happily.

Suddenly, a door of a small house swung open and a dirty, skinny woman stepped out.  She wore a scowl that looked like it was permanent.  Rachel heard the muffled shouts of the mother calling her children in as she ducked underneath the bush.  She’d seen enough.  She looked at her ball, and felt sadness and pity.  She knew it was coming from Stripes.  

“Oh Stripes.” She whispered, “I didn’t know there were people who lived like this.”

Stripes’ pity and sadness got even worse.  It made Rachel want to curl up and cry. She wanted to tell him to stop, but she too, felt pity for the little children.  She had been living a much better life, and she had ran away from it.  She snorted and balled up her fists, remembering the reason she’d run away.  It was because of Mother and Father.  It was all their fault.  They were the reason she was here.  She felt her own anger and determination wash away the feelings she was getting from stripes.  Stripes squirmed in discomfort.  He obviously didn’t like the feeling of anger, but Rachel couldn’t help it.  It was Mother and Father’s fault.  For the first time, Rachel was glad she didn’t have to repent for her feelings. She felt freer to do whatever she wanted, and the chains of the Angel Guild’s dictates weren’t holding her back anymore.

She smiled and checked to see if the streets were empty once again.  They were.  Rachel knew she couldn’t walk along the streets or sidewalks anymore, she’d have to hide.  She wasn’t fat, but she wasn’t as skinny as anyone here, either.  And she wore nicer clothes.  Rachel felt so out of place.  She felt so superior to these people, and back at home, her appearance was normal.  Rachel didn’t know whether she should feel sorrow for these people or pride that she was better than them.  She stood up and was careful to walk behind houses, instead of in front of them.  Stripes seemed sad.  

Rachel looked down at him.  “I’m sorry, Stripes, that you had to be my spirit beast.” She looked up and tried to muffle the crunching of her sneakers against the rocks by shuffling.  “I’m sorry that I ignored you.  I was just so... scared.”  She felt tears spring to her eyes.  “I was scared of what you’d become.”  She sniffed back the tears and wiped her eyes.  “Now all I have to worry about is you becoming some angel.  I can’t go back, not ever. You know that too, right?”  The ball seemed to understand her completely.  She felt almost as if he promised not to become an Angel Beast.

Rachel looked at the sky. It was beginning to get dark.  She sighed and found a house with a roof that stuck out in the back, so she curled up against it.  She felt Stripes begin to shiver.  She looked for a warm shelter for him, and finally decided to just hold him.  They could keep each other warm.  She put Stripes at the entrance of her hoodie pocket, and waited for him to approve.  He rolled inside, and she nearly giggled at the strange feeling of him cuddling against her stomach, but not touching her skin.  She rubbed her arms as a frosty breeze bit at her nose.  She was freezing.  She felt worry creep into her and began caressing Stripes’ fur.  “I won’t die. I promise.”  She blew into her hands, and sighed at the warmth.  She rubbed her hands together and leaned her head gently against the wall. Slowly, and with a lot of effort, she drifted to sleep.  She woke up every fifteen or twenty minutes because of a cramp, or the cold, or just because she’d become uncomfortable and had to readjust herself.  Just before it became light, she nodded off for good.

Rachel woke suddenly to a bright sky and loud voices. She pulled her legs to her chest and looked around the side of the wall.  David was there!  He was talking to some police officers. “She wasn’t at school, and her parents didn’t know where she was, either,” he told them, as he showed them a picture of Rachel.

Rachel realized she’d finally gone to sleep when the sun came up and warmed the cool spring air.  She was so exhausted she must have slept through most of the day.   David must have started some sort of search party.  She wanted to scream in frustration.  “David, you idiot. Stop,” she thought.  She couldn’t be found yet.  She needed to get away from the Angel Guild’s territory. 

She looked around the wall again and continued listening to David and the police’s conversation. “Please, we’re really good friends,” David pleaded.  The police said something about it being against policy to look for runaways. 

Rachel felt a pain of guilt when she saw the sad look on David’s face.  She wasn’t thinking of all of the friends when she was leaving.  Maddie, David, and the others would miss her.  It was too late to turn back now, though.

When she heard David’s voice fade away, she looked out to check if the coast was clear.  She stood up and brushed herself off.  She put Stripes in her pocket, making it bulge like she was pregnant.  She had a little laugh at that, but stripes didn’t seem to like the idea of being stuffed in the front pouch pocket.  He barely fit in it to begin with.  She began to walk behind the houses and hoped that no one would catch her.  The houses thinned and became sparse as she walked further.  The sun grew hotter, and beat down on Rachel, making her take off her hoodie and stuff it in her backpack.  She took Stripes out and held him close to her.  She saw a few cacti and even touched one, immediately regretted it afterward.  Blood streamed from her finger and she wiped it on her leggings.  She shook her hand and blood spattered the dry dirt underneath her.  “I hate this”, she thought.  “I never knew running away could be so hard.”  She shook it off and sighed.  Her backpack seemed to get heavier.  She had to lean forward against the weight.  She’d only packed clothes and things for peanut butter and jam, but it felt like she was carrying her whole room in there.  She was hungry.  Ravished, in fact, since she’d missed dinner and breakfast, and it felt like lunchtime.  Finally, the hunger overcame her will to push forward, and she fell to the ground. She quickly unzipped her backpack and pulled out the three items of food. She took out two pieces of bread and spread out the bread on the dirt. It was too hot for bugs, and the dirt was dry and cracked, so it wouldn’t get into her food.  She used her finger to spread the peanut butter and jam on the bread and put the things back, and then dug in. Her teeth ripped the soft bread, and the sweet taste filled her mouth.

She chewed rapidly and took another hungry bite.  When she finished the sandwich, she wasn’t anywhere near satisfied, but she decided she’d better save some for later so she slung her backpack back over her shoulder.  As she secured the other strap she realized the peanut butter and bread had completely dried out her already parched tongue.  She began to cry.  What was she doing?