The Undecideds Chapt. 7

Chapter 7

                The council chamber was surprisingly full.  The room itself was enormous.  It had to be to accommodate any type of spirit beast might accompany the diverse council members.  White fluted columns held up a domed ceiling.  The room was built in a semicircle so that all present would be facing the Head Councilman.  In their case there were two, Saul and Claudia.  A few High Chancellors from the Angel’s Guild often sat behind the pulpit, along with a transcriber, and occasionally a delegate from one of the five major Guilds who was presenting a new law to be voted upon by the council.  Today, there were representatives from all factions of all the guilds.  Saul wondered why everyone decided to be here today.  There weren't any major laws being discussed, and none of the councilmen were presenting any new laws to the council that he knew of.  It was strange to see half this many council members on a day like today.  A flutter of worry tickled at his stomach that somehow everyone knew that the daughter of the two head council members had run away the day before.  He didn’t know how it could be so, but it seemed that everyone was watching him as though he were a bug in a box.

                Claudia was conducting herself as usual.  She didn't seem to be bothered in the least that everyone was in attendance.  The meeting had started as they all do.  Everyone announced themselves and which province they represented.  Of course, that part took longer than usual as there were four to five times more council members present than usual.  The council’s irrevocable law was stated and each representative gave their oath to uphold the time tested ideals on which the council was founded.

                After the last member gave their oath, Claudia began to move on to the issues placed before the council for that morning.  She was halfway through thanking everyone for being there when the head of the Demon Guild interrupted her.  “And what of the Head Councilwoman’s oath?”

                “Excuse me, Chairman Charrander?”

                “Excuse me for interrupting Madam Head Council Woman.  But shouldn't the heads of the council also give their oath, as all of us have,” the tenacious councilman said with an air of contempt.

                To her credit, Claudia didn’t even bat an eye.  She calmly stood, raised her arm to the square, and repeated the oath, “For peace, for love, for harmony, for all, I swear my oath to the laws of the ancients passed down through the generations to allow all to live in peace and harmony.” 

                As she lowered her arm, she looked meaningfully at Saul.  He immediately stood and gave his oath; staring down the Demon Guild’s chairman the whole time.  Saul’s angel didn’t like the man, nor his spirit beast, and she was not afraid to make it known.  The blue flame of justice ignited around her, and her flaming sword appeared in her hand. 

                Councilman Charrander was an older man.  His hair was gray, except for a small patch in front and to the left of his head, which was stark black in contrast to the rest of the thick, curly, neatly kept hair.  His spirit beast was a large demon.  Larger than most.  It stood about twenty feet tall, had goat legs with a humanoid torso, a long red tail which ended in a spade shape, two long horns made of flame protruded from the bull-like face of the creature, and bat wings with a twenty-foot wingspan.  His demon had a giant warhammer which could ignite with hellfire.  Neither the councilman, nor his beast reacted to Saul’s angel’s outburst.  Saul supposed they were used to seeing the female angel on the brink of battle when in their presence.  She had little tolerance for them.  It was easy for Saul to see why the ancient war burned on for centuries.  The opposing beasts could scarcely bear to be in the same room with one another.

                Claudia gave Saul a tight smile of appreciated and returned her gaze to the incorrigible councilman.  “Thank you, Councilman Charrander, for reminding us.  It is good for us all to remember the reason we are all here in peaceful talks and negotiations instead of in arms trying to destroy one another.”  Her lips smiled at the man, though her eyes did not. 

                Claudia addressed the rest of the council, “Now, there have been reports of bandits in the lands North of…”

                “So, do you mean to say that you truly do intend to keep all of the dictates of the ancient law,” the Demon Guild’s chairman interrupted again.  When Claudia looked at him, there was a hint of fire behind those kind blue eyes.  Her cheeks mantled a bit.  Councilman Charrander spread his arms out helplessly and said, “I mean, really?  No matter what?  You will obey all of the dictates of the old law, will you not?”

                Claudia took a calming breath.  “I have given my oath, along with every council member here.  I and my husband know better than most how important those dictates are, Councilman Charrander.  Perhaps if you had to solve every petty dispute between the different guilds, you too would understand that the law is irrevocable.  Those in ancient times came to the dictates of the law after centuries of war, death, and suffering.  I’m sure many of them signed the peace treaty standing next to those very men and women who had murdered a loved one.  You are mistaken if you believe I would waver on even the smallest point of the law.”  Her glare became cold as she locked eyes with the man.

                Again he held his arms out helplessly, “I wouldn’t dream of saying you wouldn’t, Madam Head Chairwoman.  And I can quite understand the difficulty you speak of.  Why, I have difficulty enough just trying to appease the different factions within my own guild.  I couldn’t begin to imagine how difficult it must be to uphold peace between overtly opposite guilds.”  It was all an act for the other council members, Saul knew, but the man had a silver tongue.  “I just mean to say, that there are times when upholding the law must be difficult.”

                “I cannot imagine a scenario where difficulty upholding the law would outweigh the pain and difficulty of returning to the savage days of war,” Claudia said, flatly.  By now, her angel was not sitting at ease behind her.  He too had materialized his weapons.  The sight of the silver trident and shield in the large male angel’s hand were enough to make the council members in the front row lean back to put some distance between themselves and the powerful spirit beast.  Unlike Saul’s angel, Claudia’s was slow to anger.  At home, Claudia was all business and ran a tight ship, so to speak.  The children probably feared her more than he.  His angel never seemed to be angry at home.  Her greatest pleasure in life was the children.  She had never shown them anything but a smiling loving face.  At work, the two switch roles as easily as one would change shoes.  His angel became a heated fireball at the smallest hint of opposition, while Claudia’s angel always sat relaxed in the background.  He was ever watchful, but rarely provoked to any reaction aside from feigned indifference.  Those in the council knew he was anything but indifferent.  His eyes never stopped moving when they were in council.  The male angel was always on guard, but never let those around him know it.  To see him in arms alarmed even Saul. 

                “That is good,” Councilman Charrander said.  He turned to face the rest of the council, “because I have learned that there has been a bit of disharmony in your home, of late.  It seems that not only have you lost your oldest son, but now you have lost a daughter.”  He turned back towards Claudia with an evil grin.  Her angel was ablaze now, with an angry orange flame.  Some of the council members gasped audibly.  Councilman Charrander did not.  “I would hate to lose faith in our beloved Head Councilwoman because she was more worried about her daughter than the ancient laws.”  He pretended to think, and then added, “I just wonder what is happening in our most trusted leaders’ home that would cause not one, but two children to run away.”

                This time Claudia didn’t try to hide her displeasure.  “You tread a very dangerous path, Samuel.  I will not abandon the laws of peace to save one person.”  Her voice cracked a bit.  “Even if that person is my own daughter.  It’s true that she has run away.  There was a fight at her school, and instead of handling, her principal called us in to deal with it.  We told her to handle it herself.  I can see now how that must have appeared to our dear daughter.  She must have been hurt, thinking we didn’t care.”  Her voice regained a bit of its strength.  “Most of you here are parents.  You understand that we were acting in Rachel’s best interest.  A parent can’t always rescue their child.  Children need to learn to work out their own problems at some point in their lives.  We wouldn’t be good parents if we solved all of hers for her.  Just as we don’t solve all of your problems when you bring them to us, we can’t solve our children’s.  The must grow to be strong, just as each of your factions have grown stronger when you figure out how to rule yourselves.”  She turned again to Councilman Charrander.  “I will not break the laws and go to rescue her.  She has made the choice to leave our protective care.  It is written in ancient law that she must be free to choose.  Even at her tender age, she must be free.  I will not take that freedom from her because it would be precedence for others to do the same, and we all know that sometimes children leave because they are in danger. Sometimes they fear that they are endangering their families.  We can’t know.  We are linked to our beasts, but only once that union has been solidified can control be established.  If not control, then understanding.  It breaks my heart as a mother to think of my child out there alone in a dangerous cruel world.  But I would not risk the lives of countless others who run away because they fear for the lives of their spirit beast, or because they fear for the lives of the spirit beasts of their families to save my own daughter.  For all I know, she could have left for one of these reasons.  Perhaps her beast has turned into a demon, perhaps a predator and she fears it will maul those of her siblings.  I don’t know her reasons, but I’ll not break the law to go find out.”

                Councilman Charrander turned to face the rest of the council.  “So she says.  A mother who drives not one, but two of her children from her own house can hardly be trusted, can she?”

                In a flash an orange flame vaulted the pulpit and first two rows of chairs and council members.  Councilman Charrander was on the third row, he now had a flaming trident against his neck.  Before Saul could react, a giant hammer was crashing down on his wife’s angel.  He heard a sickening crushing sound and the hammer made contact with the stone floor of the council chambers.  The councilman’s giant demon had crushed his wife’s angel.  Saul heard a scream.  It took several minutes to realize that his throat was sore.  It was him who was screaming.  His angel vaulted the pulpit.  Blue flame was all he could see as she streaked across his plane of sight.  A mighty swing of her sword threw the giant demon across the room.  It managed to get its warhammer up in time to block the blow, but the force was such that it took him from his feet, and one hundred paces across the room until a giant marble pillar stopped him.  The demon stood on unsteady legs.  Saul’s angel backhanded Councilman Carrander, sending him soaring across the room to land next to his spirit beast.  The female angel had tears streaking down her cheeks.  She was beyond reconciliation.  There was nothing Saul could do to stop her.  Nothing short of the blood of both the councilman and his spirit beast would soothe her anger.  Saul ran to stay close to her.  If she ran too far, she may sever the link between them and kill them both.  As he ran, he saw something moving in the rubble left by the giant hammer.  He didn’t have time to stop, though.

                Saul was only halfway to his angel, and she was in pitched battle with the giant demon.  Council members were scattering in every direction, most falling over themselves trying to get out of the way.  None dared to try to interrupt the two powerful beasts.  The giant war hammer came crashing down on Saul’s angel, but her sword met the swing.  The floor under the angel cracked with the impact, but her arms didn’t so much as tremble as she pushed the hammer up away from her.  She heaved up mightily, and the demon lost its footing almost tumbling backwards.  In a flash, the sword slashed through its closest leg.  Blood splattered across the pure white column of the council room.  The horrible beast cried out in pain.  The fire around the sword seared the flesh and hair of the goat legs, filling the room with a shock of metallic smelling blood along with a pleasant aroma of cooked meat.

                The councilman came to his feet just has Saul cut the remaining distance between him and his angel.  He snatched the irate Charrander just in time to save him from his angel.  If he tried to interfere with the battle, she would cut him down as surely as if he were his demon.  Saul struggled to hold the old man’s arms behind his back.

                With a whoosh of air, his angel took flight.  The giant demon was still teetering, trying to catch his balance and keep from falling backwards.  With a quick flap of her wings, Saul’s angel darted at the demon’s chest.  The blow not only knocked him back, but threw him another twenty feet back.  The large demon’s wings snapped as they made harsh contact with the unforgiving floor.  Before he even settled fully on the floor, she was standing on his chest with her sword poised for the kill.

                “Enough!”

                Saul jumped at the powerful authoritative voice coming from the pulpit.  There stood Claudia, unharmed.  He looked at the rubble where he thought her angel was smashed, only to see him standing there with his trident ready to throw should the battle turn against his love.  There was a large hole in the ground next to him.  He must have got his shield up in time to block the blow, but the impact drove him into the ground.

                Saul’s angel stood panting on the great demon’s chest.  The fire in her eyes faltered at seeing her love alive and well, but she wasn’t willing to back off just yet.  He had tried, that was all that mattered.  Saul knew well her character.  He had tried to kill her love.  That threat was worthy of death, in-and-of itself.  The demon lay on its back, the war hammer having been knocked out of his grasp lay a goodly distance away.  His wild eyes were wide open, looking at the angel on his chest poised to kill him.  Saul wasn’t sure, but it looked almost as if the great demon were surprised beyond reason that a creature one third its size could so easily overpower him. 

                There was a reason Saul and Claudia were Head Council members.  Their spirit beasts possessed powers beyond just outward appearances.  Saul’s angel was many times stronger than any giant-type monster.  Claudia’s was tougher than even Saul knew, apparently.

                “Enough, I said,” Claudia repeated. 

                Saul reluctantly let go of Councilman Charrander’s arms.  His angel was less forgiving.  She looked at Claudia, then at her angel, then back at the monstrous demon.

                “It’s okay,” Saul said.  He urged her through their bond to back down, but felt only anger and resistance.  She did not want to let a possible threat go unpunished.

                “Cindell, please,” Claudia begged.  “Let’s not spoil the sanctity of peace these halls have enjoyed for thousands of years.  Especially over petty words of hatred.”

                Saul’s angel looked back at Claudia.  Saul could feel her frustration.  She wanted nothing more than to end the life of this wretched beast who had so often brought out her ire.  She took a step closer to the demon’s face.  She stomped her foot, and her weapon dematerialized. 

                Just as she turned to walk off of the beast, it laughed.  Saul groaned inside.  His angel turned in a huff.  In a flash she reached out and grabbed the golden ring through the bull nose, and tore it out with a powerful yank.  The demon howled and covered his bleeding nose.  Sauls angel smirked and took wing, landing gracefully at Saul’s side.  He still had his face buried in his hand.

                “You’re not fit to rule this council,” Charrander yelled.

                “It seems we’re the perfect pair to rule this council,” Claudia retorted.  “We’re the only ones strong enough to keep you, and those like you, from getting it in their heads that they can overthrow the ruling power of this council.”  Councilman Charrander was about to sputter off a harsh remark, but Claudia held up a hand, silencing him.  “Don’t try my patience any farther Samuel.  It’s taking all my resolve to keep my angel under control.  He wants to tear your demons arms from his body and beat the two of you to death with them.  Don’t test me any farther Councilman.  Just don’t!”

                The man reluctantly stepped down, face red, and shaking with rage.  His spirit beast was having difficulty getting up.  Its wings were both broken, and the shin of the leg Cindell had cut was bleeding profusely.  The poor creature was holding its nose in agony, and couldn’t decide which wound hurt worse. 

                Saul’s angel was in the arms of her love; Claudia’s angel.  Saul wanted nothing more than to do the same to his dear wife, but he knew it wouldn’t be appropriate.  Instead, they shared a loving look.  Claudia gave him a tight smile then turned back to the council.  Council men and women were all pressed against the far walls of the great room.  Spirit bests were hiding in open terror of what they had just witnessed.  Even the predators were trying to stay out of the sight of the two powerful angels.  The demons were cowering like the worms they were.

                “That’s enough of that,” Claudia announced.  “Get back to your seats.  We have business to conduct.”  The council members reluctantly returned to their seats.  Apparently the upheaval they were promised in session today was not what they had expected.  Saul couldn’t help but be a little perturbed.  They all wanted to see the Angel Guild fall from power.  They didn’t seem to realize that it was the Angel Guild which kept them all safe, and war at bay.  Saul supposed that it was natural to want change, and the Angel Guild had been in charge for close to three thousand years now.  But those three thousand years had been peaceful.

                Councilman Charrander looked considerably humbler.  His demon had finally made it to its feet.  The demon studiously avoided the gaze of either of the angel, or their masters.  At least there was that.

                “I will see to it that my daughter is treated equally as any other runaway,” Claudia continued.  “She will get no special treatment, though I wish I could because of my love for her.  If she is to come back to the family, it will only be if she develops an angel spirit beast.  For now, she will be an outcast.  She will have to find her true place in Qualia duo, as do each of us.”

                Saul felt tears well up in his eyes with the finality of it all.  He had hoped nobody would find out, and they could take their daughter back with no incidents.  It appeared that the Demon Guild was watching them closer than they had thought.  They were always vying for power, like vultures circling an animal in the desert, the slightest hint of weakness and they would descend upon the carcass of what was now the council.  Nobody knew, but the balance of power was more precarious now than ever in the last three thousand years.  There was talk of real revolution.  Saul feared what such a revolution would do to their society.

The Many Lives of Ruby Iyer

     The Many Lives of Ruby Iyer by Laxmi Hariharan is a YA Thriller set in Bombay.

     I want to start by saying that I wish I had Mrs. Hariharan's grammar.  She has perfect punctuation.  Secondly, this is the first Indie book I've read where the author does the inner thoughts of the protagonist in a way which is not distracting.  The quick, italicized thoughts actually add to the story instead of distracting from its natural flow.  I know this sounds funny, but it actually makes a big difference in the reader's experience.

     Ruby Iyer, our protagonist, is a strong willed, independent young woman living in Bombay with her best friend, Pankaj Verma (Panky).  The action starts when there is an accident at the railway.  Escaping death, but not the life-threatening shock of touching the live wires fueling the train, Ruby ends up in the hospital wondering how she survived the ten thousand volts running through her body.  Something has happened to Ruby; either the shock changed her, or it awakened something already inside.  The world also seems to have turned upside down.  

     Soon after the accident Panky is kidnapped.  Ruby teams up with a young cop named Vikram Roy to find out what happened to Panky.  It turns out that Bombay is under assault by a teen army bent on taking over the world.  The head of this army is a Dr. Kamini Braganza.  The "kiddie army", as Ruby likes to call it, has Panky.  Ruby and Vikram rampage through the city, saving strangers, running for their lives, and pretty much just kicking butt everywhere they go, ending in a kind of battle royal.

     Ruby is a wild character.  I don't know if Mrs. Hariharan was trying too hard to make her an action hero, if she was trying to accentuate a teen's violent mood swings, or what, but Ruby is borderline psychotic.  She has a violent temper, and cuts herself, among other things. The situations are a bit extreme, though, so perhaps it's simply reactionary to a world gone mad, but she seems to be pre-made that way.

     I've never been to Bombay, nor India for that matter, but Mrs. Hariharan has a great way of setting the scene without turning into Stephen King (10 pages to tell you it was raining, uhhg).  Even with the fast pace of the book, the reader is always in the scene.  It's quite a remarkable talent.

     There is a lot of language throughout.  I know we're all about pushing boundaries in today's society, but I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you're writing for kids, write for kids.  Teenagers are kids.  YA should be written for young adults.  PG-13 movies don't have multiple "F" words, and neither should YA novels.  I know teenagers want to be adult-like, and I know they probably curse more than most adults, but, call me crazy, I think authors should take a little more responsibility when writing for kids.  On the plus side, and unlike most of the supposed "YA" I've been receiving lately, there's no unnecessary teenage sex! Yay!  Just a lot of violence and language.

     I didn't connect with Ruby very well, but the story and the descriptive language made up for the disconnect with the protagonist.  The language was out of place for YA, in my opinion, and it was fairly violent, so, over all, I'd have to give the story

Mrs. Hariharan also wanted me to post this link for an I-phone 6 give away

     

a Rafflecopter giveaway

     

Another Seizure

     I had another seizure on Monday, and I didn't get anything posted.  I'm trying to finish up the book I'm reviewing this week and get a review written to post today.  

Funny

Henry Ford

     "Whether you think you can or can't... You're right."  Henry Ford.

     Among his many other incredible life achievements, Henry Ford was an author.  He didn't invent the automobile, nor the assembly line, but he saw the two and meshed them together to create an automobile most families could afford.  By industrializing assembly lines, he could pay employees more, and charge less for the finished product all while amassing a fat pocketbook.  He became a person of global interest, and wrote about his life in My Life and Work.  He was also a pacifist, and used his world fame to speak his mind about WWI.  Some of his work (The International Jew) was ill-received, and probably rightfully so, but he wrote his mind.  His work is standard reading in most business schools today.

     We all have the chance to be a "Henry Ford", but imagine what the world would be like if Ford had given in to that negative voice which plagues us all at one point or another saying, "You can't do that because..."?  How many other incredible ideas, inventions, etc. has the world been robbed of because of the, "I can't's"?  Are you a Henry Ford, or just another person who will only accomplish a small percentage of their dreams.  

     Whether you think you can or you can't you're right.  Push for what you want.  Don't let your hopeful inner child die because of the "real world".

The Undecideds Chapt. 6

     Once again... raw stuff.  I had fun writing in my other book today, though.  The story got away from me a little bit today, though.  I did some things that surprised me!

Chapter 6

                Rachel never really gave any thought as to where she would go.  At first she almost turned around and went home, but then she would think about having to go back to school and face all the other students and the principal again, and she renewed her determination.  She thought about going to go to Maddie’s house, but she knew that her parents would just turn Rachel in to her own parents, and Rachel couldn’t bear to face them again. 

Arabelle city was the center of the civilized world.  The city itself was divided into five sections like a pie with pieces cut out.  She grew up in the Angel Guild’s section of the city.  The other four were the four other major guilds, and the center was the grand council where all the guilds’ representatives ruled their respective guilds.  That would be where her parents were; working as always.  Rachel wanted to stay as far away from the city center as she could, but she knew she couldn’t stay in the Angel Guild’s section either because somebody would recognize her and take her home.  She decided the best place to go was the Prey Guild’s section.  The only problem was that she would have to go through the Demon Guild’s section to get to it.  She could go the other way around, but she would have to go through the Predator’s Guild section, and the Aviary Guild’s section to get to it.  Both would be dangerous with only a ball of fur for a pet.  Predators often killed the pets of their own kin because they couldn’t control their instinct.  And predatory birds in the Aviary Guild were no better.  But the Demon Guild was something altogether more dangerous.  She fussed and fussed about which way would be worse; two dangerous sections, or one really dangerous section. 

While she was thinking about her choices, she walked.  Several minutes later, she realized she was walking towards the Demon Guild’s section.  Rachel stopped with cold realization.  She was scared to death in the Demonology class, and now she was going to go walking through the Demon Guild’s section of the city.  She started to turn away, but stopped when she thought of the great cats and wolves of the Predator Guild ripping apart her little ball of fur.  She looked down at her little ball of fur.  “What do you think we should do?”

The ball rolled around a little.  She felt a small pull in her mind in the direction of the Demon Guild’s section.  She could feel fear from her ball of fur.  It was strange.  She had rarely felt anything from it.  And this was the first time she had ever felt its influence in a decision.  Her spirit beast did not want to go to the Predator Guild’s section of the city.  In spite of everything that was happening, Rachel smiled.  For the first time she was actually communicating with her spirit beast.  Perhaps she would eventually be able to talk to it as it seemed everyone else was able to do with their spirit beasts.  She turned back towards the Demon Guilds section, and started walking.  Then she felt a tug in her mind pulling in a different direction.

Rachel stopped and looked down at her ball of fur again.  “You want me to move farther away from the city before we go into the Demon Guild’s section?”  The little ball rolled around excitedly.  She could feel its enthusiasm for the idea.  “Ok,” she said with a smile.  “I suppose it would be better if we were outside of the city, altogether.  That way we would have less of a chance to run in to any people at all.”  The ball bounced up and down.  Rachel smiled again.  “Good idea...  hmm.  I don’t even know what to call you.  We’ve never really spoken before.  I think it’s time you had a name.”  The ball bounced again.  “Should I call you Wendy?”  The ball stopped bouncing.  Rachel laughed.  “Okay, okay.  Not Wendy.  I don’t even know if you’re a boy or a girl.  Are you a girl?”  The ball shook back and forth.  “A boy?”  The ball bounced up and down again.  Rachel giggled.  “Okay, so boy names, hmm.  Let me think.  Rob?  Paul?  Sam?”  The ball shook with each name.  “hmm, maybe animal names?”  The ball bounced again.  “So, fluffy?”  It stopped bouncing, and Rachel could feel its disgust for the name.  She laughed again.  “Okay, not fluffy.  Spot?  Tiger?  Rex?”  The ball shook with each name.  “Stripes?”  the ball stopped shaking, and Rachel could feel that it was thinking over the name.  At last it bounced up and down.  “Stripes.”  Rachel smiled again.  “Let’s hope you don’t turn out to be a spotted animal.”  The ball of fur stopped bouncing, and Rachel could feel that it was a little worried.  “It’s okay,” She reassured him.  “Even if you’re and angel, stripes is a good name.”  The ball bounced again.

Rachel looked up at where she was walking. “Here, you lead.” She told her ball.  She was determined to get to the Prey Guild’s section of the city, but she still had anxiety over passing through the Demon Guild.  At least now she had a friend.  She was actually talking to it.  Him.  She corrected herself quickly, so she wouldn’t offend her little Stripes.

Rachel’s head jerked at every sound; A car whizzing by, or some person from a distance walking.  She pulled the hoodie she’d brought along over her head, in attempt to stay hidden.  At times, she had to hide out behind some bushes or in an alley way so as not to be seen.  She couldn’t blow her cover or her parents would find her.  She was mad that she had to run away.  She was mad at the way she was treated.  She was mad at the Angel Guild.  But mostly, she was mad at her parents.  It was their fault she was in this mess to begin with.  She was so angry she threw caution to the wind and jumped on a free train that wove its way through the city so she could get away faster.  This one went right to the city edge and a little beyond.  Rachel sat with her hoddie covering her face the whole ride.  Most of the people on the train were too preoccupied with their own thoughts to notice her, anyway.  When the train got to the last station, just outside Arabelle, Rachel quickly exited, and started walking away as fast as her legs would permit without running.

As she walked farther from the city she realized the houses were getting smaller.  Between some of them were little homemade box shelters used by desperate people. She covered her mouth as she watched little children with caved in bellies play ball out in the rocky street. She ducked behind a bush so she wouldn’t be seen. The children might as well have been wearing rags. Their clothes looked as if they’d been handed down from seventeen different people who’d died in those clothes.  But the children all looked happy enough, just playing ball with their friends; happier than anyone Rachel had ever seen.  She blinked and even rubbed her eyes to make sure she was seeing right.  The children were still wearing the rags, still had those caved in bellies, and they were still beaming and laughing at the game they’d made up.  Rachel shook her head.  If she were in that situation, she’d be scrounging for food, not playing happily.

Suddenly, a door of a small house swung open and a dirty, skinny woman stepped out.  She wore a scowl that looked like it was permanent.  Rachel heard the muffled shouts of the mother calling her children in as she ducked underneath the bush.  She’d seen enough.  She looked at her ball, and felt sadness and pity.  She knew it was coming from Stripes.  

“Oh Stripes.” She whispered, “I didn’t know there were people who lived like this.”

Stripes’ pity and sadness got even worse.  It made Rachel want to curl up and cry. She wanted to tell him to stop, but she too, felt pity for the little children.  She had been living a much better life, and she had ran away from it.  She snorted and balled up her fists, remembering the reason she’d run away.  It was because of Mother and Father.  It was all their fault.  They were the reason she was here.  She felt her own anger and determination wash away the feelings she was getting from stripes.  Stripes squirmed in discomfort.  He obviously didn’t like the feeling of anger, but Rachel couldn’t help it.  It was Mother and Father’s fault.  For the first time, Rachel was glad she didn’t have to repent for her feelings. She felt freer to do whatever she wanted, and the chains of the Angel Guild’s dictates weren’t holding her back anymore.

She smiled and checked to see if the streets were empty once again.  They were.  Rachel knew she couldn’t walk along the streets or sidewalks anymore, she’d have to hide.  She wasn’t fat, but she wasn’t as skinny as anyone here, either.  And she wore nicer clothes.  Rachel felt so out of place.  She felt so superior to these people, and back at home, her appearance was normal.  Rachel didn’t know whether she should feel sorrow for these people or pride that she was better than them.  She stood up and was careful to walk behind houses, instead of in front of them.  Stripes seemed sad.  

Rachel looked down at him.  “I’m sorry, Stripes, that you had to be my spirit beast.” She looked up and tried to muffle the crunching of her sneakers against the rocks by shuffling.  “I’m sorry that I ignored you.  I was just so... scared.”  She felt tears spring to her eyes.  “I was scared of what you’d become.”  She sniffed back the tears and wiped her eyes.  “Now all I have to worry about is you becoming some angel.  I can’t go back, not ever. You know that too, right?”  The ball seemed to understand her completely.  She felt almost as if he promised not to become an Angel Beast.

Rachel looked at the sky. It was beginning to get dark.  She sighed and found a house with a roof that stuck out in the back, so she curled up against it.  She felt Stripes begin to shiver.  She looked for a warm shelter for him, and finally decided to just hold him.  They could keep each other warm.  She put Stripes at the entrance of her hoodie pocket, and waited for him to approve.  He rolled inside, and she nearly giggled at the strange feeling of him cuddling against her stomach, but not touching her skin.  She rubbed her arms as a frosty breeze bit at her nose.  She was freezing.  She felt worry creep into her and began caressing Stripes’ fur.  “I won’t die. I promise.”  She blew into her hands, and sighed at the warmth.  She rubbed her hands together and leaned her head gently against the wall. Slowly, and with a lot of effort, she drifted to sleep.  She woke up every fifteen or twenty minutes because of a cramp, or the cold, or just because she’d become uncomfortable and had to readjust herself.  Just before it became light, she nodded off for good.

Rachel woke suddenly to a bright sky and loud voices. She pulled her legs to her chest and looked around the side of the wall.  David was there!  He was talking to some police officers. “She wasn’t at school, and her parents didn’t know where she was, either,” he told them, as he showed them a picture of Rachel.

Rachel realized she’d finally gone to sleep when the sun came up and warmed the cool spring air.  She was so exhausted she must have slept through most of the day.   David must have started some sort of search party.  She wanted to scream in frustration.  “David, you idiot. Stop,” she thought.  She couldn’t be found yet.  She needed to get away from the Angel Guild’s territory. 

She looked around the wall again and continued listening to David and the police’s conversation. “Please, we’re really good friends,” David pleaded.  The police said something about it being against policy to look for runaways. 

Rachel felt a pain of guilt when she saw the sad look on David’s face.  She wasn’t thinking of all of the friends when she was leaving.  Maddie, David, and the others would miss her.  It was too late to turn back now, though.

When she heard David’s voice fade away, she looked out to check if the coast was clear.  She stood up and brushed herself off.  She put Stripes in her pocket, making it bulge like she was pregnant.  She had a little laugh at that, but stripes didn’t seem to like the idea of being stuffed in the front pouch pocket.  He barely fit in it to begin with.  She began to walk behind the houses and hoped that no one would catch her.  The houses thinned and became sparse as she walked further.  The sun grew hotter, and beat down on Rachel, making her take off her hoodie and stuff it in her backpack.  She took Stripes out and held him close to her.  She saw a few cacti and even touched one, immediately regretted it afterward.  Blood streamed from her finger and she wiped it on her leggings.  She shook her hand and blood spattered the dry dirt underneath her.  “I hate this”, she thought.  “I never knew running away could be so hard.”  She shook it off and sighed.  Her backpack seemed to get heavier.  She had to lean forward against the weight.  She’d only packed clothes and things for peanut butter and jam, but it felt like she was carrying her whole room in there.  She was hungry.  Ravished, in fact, since she’d missed dinner and breakfast, and it felt like lunchtime.  Finally, the hunger overcame her will to push forward, and she fell to the ground. She quickly unzipped her backpack and pulled out the three items of food. She took out two pieces of bread and spread out the bread on the dirt. It was too hot for bugs, and the dirt was dry and cracked, so it wouldn’t get into her food.  She used her finger to spread the peanut butter and jam on the bread and put the things back, and then dug in. Her teeth ripped the soft bread, and the sweet taste filled her mouth.

She chewed rapidly and took another hungry bite.  When she finished the sandwich, she wasn’t anywhere near satisfied, but she decided she’d better save some for later so she slung her backpack back over her shoulder.  As she secured the other strap she realized the peanut butter and bread had completely dried out her already parched tongue.  She began to cry.  What was she doing?

When Women Were Warriors

     When Women Were Warriors by Catherine M. Wilson is an Epic Adventure novel (not really action adventure, but adventure none-the-less), but it's also a coming of age story for our 16 y/o protagonist, Tamras. The story is told first person, and Mrs. Wilson's voice as an author was a bit jarring at first, for me anyway, but I soon found that it actually set the mood for the time era.  The story is set in the British Isles in the Bronze Age when tribes fought tribes over land and goods.

     I want to start by saying that my two favorite genres are Epic Fantasy, followed closely by Sci-fi.  If I had to pick a 3rd it would be realistic fiction based in the warrior's era (like this book is).  There's something about a story set in the time of the creation of civilization that just appeals to me.  Having said that, I had high expectations going in to this read, so I may be harder on Mrs. Wilson than I should be.

     Okay, so on to the review...

     Tamras is the oldest daughter of the oldest daughter in a line of warriors from her tribe.  Women won their shields as warriors through laurels in battle and war.  She, like her mother, is not large in stature, but given her birthright she is meant to be a warrior.  

     In her society, there is an old legend of a queen who lost a daughter in a hunting accident to a neighboring clan.  The enraged queen, readied for battle, but on the morning her clan was ready to ride out, a young woman rode into their village, unarmed, and offered herself to the queen as a peace offering from the offending clan's queen.  The young woman was the daughter of the neighboring clan's queen.  She came with a message that the queen could take her life to replace the daughter she lost, or take her as her daughter as she saw fit.  The grieving queen took the young woman as her daughter and peace was found between the would-be feuding clans.  And so the tradition of sending the oldest daughter to the neighboring clan as an offering of peace began.

     Tamras's story begins when she is sent to a much larger neighboring clan as part of this tradition.  She hopes to become a warrior and earn her shield, but when she arrives, she finds that they have much larger women as warriors, and she can only be a companion for one of the bigger warriors.  On top of that, she is given a fairly ill-tempered warrior named Maara who doesn't wish the aid of a companion.

     Maara is gravely injured, and the house healer leaves sleeping herbs for Tamra to administer so that Maara can die in peace.  Tamras is angry with Maara, and decides to try to heal her instead so that Maara would owe her her life.  When Maara doesn't die in the night as the healer expected, she laid Maara's life in Tamras's hands, and tells her that she did her no favors because now she would die a long suffering death from infection.  Tamras manages to heal Maara, but is shamed by her motive behind it, and confesses her shame to the ill-tempered woman.  Maara seems to like her candor, and the two begin the journey towards friendship.

     The characters are well developed and the slow plot is pleasant.  The story is great.  It would make a wonderful YA book, but there are two, pretty heavy, lesbian lover scenes.  They weren't pornographically descriptive, though they were racy, so I couldn't recommend the book to youth without a good parental guidance.  It was kind of a shame because it otherwise would have been a book I would have loved to have my 12 y/o daughter read.

     By the end of the book, you can't help but love both Maara and Tamras because Mrs. Wilson really has a way of connecting her audience with the characters through common hopes, dreams, and inner struggles.

     I'm not a huge fan of the lesbian love scenes, but the story was great aside from those, so I give it 

The Secret

     The Secret is a motivational book, written by Rhonda Byrne, made into a movie.  I'm sure most of you have at least heard of it.  I was working in Sales when this came out, so naturally it was a hot commodity in my business, and we watched it as soon as it came out, but we were reminded of it just recently.

     We had an upset in our house with my daughter when she didn't get a part in a play which she really wanted.  She was up all night crying about it.  Before her audition, she was being very negative.  The whole time before the audition, my wife kept whispering, "secret, secret, secret" like they do in the movie, and of course my daughter had no idea what she was talking about.  So when she didn't get the part, and my daughter said she knew she wouldn't, my wife decided we needed to watch this with her.  I'm kind of glad I did because even with the corny stuff in the movie, the overall message is very good.

     Basically, the "Secret" is the law of attraction.  If you focus on good stuff, your mind sends out a message to the universe to bring you more good stuff.  If you focus on bad stuff, your mind doesn't know the difference, and sends out a message to bring more bad stuff.  Byrne even goes so far as to relate it to Aladdin and the Genie in the lamp.  All Aladdin had to do is wish and his wish was the all-powerful genie's command.  All we have to do is ask, and truly imagine/believe that we will receive, and the universe will make it happen.

     I'm one of those people that these motivational speakers hate because I don't believe in genies.  However, this tactic actually works, just not in they way they make it seem.  If you focus on something, and truly put it first and foremost in your thoughts, works, and deeds, you'll accomplish that thing.  Even if it takes decades and a thousand failed attempts, you will eventually get it right.  So the law of attraction is true because you make stuff happen by your continued effort.

     The other aspect to this is attitude.  You can have the exact same day (all the ups and downs) and if you look at it with a positive view, it will be a good day vs. if you look at it with a negative view it would be a bad day.  Also, when you are positive, people react to that, and treat you positively (for the most part).  So attitude is everything.  I believe that that is really what makes people successful.  Society is more willing to move for a positive, happy person than for the die-hard cynic.  And all that is not to mention the fact that if you're positive, you will feel more fulfilled even if you aren't as successful as you had dreamed in the beginning.

     I think that this is a great movie to watch, or book to read, regardless of what you want to achieve in life.  It's always good to be reminded how far a positive outlook on life will take you. 

     I give this movie

Self-Motivating

     I got this from Top achievement.  It's a good site to visit if you need a pick-me-up, or direction in life.  It's not author-specific, just motivation for life.

No one can motivate anyone to do anything. All a person can do for another is

provide them with incentives to motivate themselves. Here are ten very effective

strategies to help you get up and get moving toward actualizing your enormous,

untapped potential.

* Be willing to leave your comfort zone. The greatest barrier to achieving your

potential is your comfort zone. Great things happen when you make friends with your discomfort zone.

* Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Wisdom helps us avoid making mistakes and comes from making a million of them.

* Don’t indulge in self-limiting thinking. Think empowering, expansive thoughts.

*Choose to be happy. Happy people are easily motivated. Happiness is your

birthright so don’t settle for anything else.

* Spend at least one hour a day in self-development. Read good books or listen to inspiring tapes. Driving to and from work provides an excellent opportunity to listen to self-improvement tapes.

* Train yourself to finish what you start. So many of us become scattered as we

try to accomplish a task. Finish one task before you begin another.

* Live fully in the present moment. When you live in the past or the future you

aren’t able to make things happen in the present.

* Commit yourself to joy. C.S. Lewis once said, “Joy is the serious business of

heaven.”

* Never quit when you experience a setback or frustration. Success could be just

around the corner.

* Dare to dream big dreams. If there is anything to the law of expectation then we are moving in the direction of our dreams, goals and expectations.

The real tragedy in life is not in how much we suffer, but rather in how much we

miss, so don’t miss a thing.

Charles Dubois once said, “We must be prepared, at any moment, to sacrifice who we are for who we are capable of becoming.”

The Undecideds Chapt. 5

     Once again, this is all very rough work.  I hardly read this over before posting it, and there are a lot of parts I would change, but I've got to get back to my other book, so here's chapter 5 of the book I'm writing with my daughter.

Chapter 5

                The rest of that school day seemed to go on forever.  Rachel  had missed her Angelology, and Predatory classes, but she felt confident that she knew enough about those two guilds that she wouldn’t really be behind.  She walked in halfway through her Math Class, but the teacher didn’t say a word.  Rachel figured that the teacher had probably heard the gossip about the Co-Leaders of the Angel Guild showing up, and didn’t want to have any part of that trouble.  Math was easy, and this class seemed to be review compared to her private tutelage.  The new student’s assembly and orientation was next on her schedule.  Rachel wondered if the principal had had enough time to compose herself after the encounter with her parents.  She would find out soon enough.

The entire school met in the gymnasium for the assembly.  The second year kids were singing the school anthem when Rachel and the rest of the first year students arrived.  The gymnasium was enormous.  Rachel found herself lost in awe, temporarily forgetting her misery.  She and the rest of the first year students filed in, most with only a ball of fur in tow.  The second year students had a wide variety of spirit beasts.  Some were fully developed, but stayed at Undecided’s Intermediate because they didn’t want to switch schools half-way through.  Most, though, only had partially developed beasts.  Balls of fur with lion’s faces, or legs and no face, or goat heads, or arms, were all hooting and howling at the new students.  The gym was noise in a box.

There were cheerleaders on the basketball court rallying the crowd.  There was a mascot of a dragon, which was the school’s mascot because it was a legendary beast that nobody had had for thousands of years, dancing around the court.  It must have taken three or four students to operate the enormous costume.  Rachel smiled, in spite of her horrible day.

Once all the students were seated the principal took the pulpit and everyone quieted down.  Principal Winehart looked to be put back together as she welcomed the new students to Undecided’s Intermediate School.  She was halfway through her welcome speech when someone yelled, “Principal Whiner Baby.”  The rest of the school burst out in laughter.  Rachel’s cheeks burned.  The Principal looked to have been physically knocked back a step, and Rachel thought she saw her bottom lip quiver.

Principal Winehart smoothed her grey skirt down at her hips and took a step back up to the microphone.  A deep scowl settled on her face as she scanned the student body.  Most of the kids quieted down.  A few of the older boys were chanting, “Whiner Baby,” but eventually that too died out.  The Principal found Rachel in the crowd, and held up her hand to quiet the rest of the students.  All of the other students raised their hands and shut their mouths.  Rachel figured it must have been a sign to be quiet in the school.  They never needed such tactics in the Angel’s Elementary School she attended.  She shyly raised her hand and looked down at her feet to avoid eye contact with the principal.

“Rachel Sie,” the principal said in a commanding voice.  “Come to the pulpit at once!”

The students all around Rachel looked at her.  She felt her ears burning.  She didn’t want to, but felt herself stand up and start walking towards the pulpit, just the same.  She never took her eyes from her feet, but she knew that everyone was looking at her.  A few of the children whispered things to one another, but mostly the gym was dead silent.  Rachel could hear her heart beating in her ears with a loud whooshing sound.  After what seemed like the longest walk in her entire life, she found herself standing in front of the pulpit at the center of the gymnasium.

Principal Winehart covered the microphone with her hand and leaned around the pulpit towards Rachel.  “Been talking about what happened in my office, have we?”

Rachel looked up in shock, shaking her head, “No, I swe…”

“Hush,” the principal cut her off.  “I’ll have no lies to save your hide.” 

Rachel had thought the principal looked pleasant, and even beautiful in her own way, before.  Now, she looked mean.  And she wore a scowl that looked to be easily brought forth.  Her cat was sitting at her heels with the hair on its back raised.  A low moan resonating from the cat made Rachel sick with worry about what Principal Winehart had in store for her.

The principal took her hand from the microphone and looked back towards the students gathered at the assembly.  “This is Rachel Sie, daughter of Saul Sie and Claudia Sie, the Co-Leaders of the Angel Guild.”  She motioned to one of the other teachers, and he brought a sawhorse looking stand in front of the pulpit.  “Bend over it, Miss Sie.”

Rachel didn’t know what the sawhorse stand was, but she knew she didn’t want to bend over it.  Once again, she felt herself walking over to it anyway.  She felt numb.  She bent over the sawhorse with her face a bright red hue.  The principal walked around the pulpit and behind her.  Suddenly, Rachel felt a sharp pain on her rear-end.  She cried out, instinctively, and stood up slightly.  The male teacher pushed her shoulders back down over the sawhorse just as she received another thrashing on her rear-end.  Rachel tried to cover her bottom with her hands, but the rod struck her hands instead, causing even greater pain than her bottom, so she quickly moved them.  Principal Winehart struck her ten times in total.  By the sixth lash, Rachel was bawling.  The lashings hurt, but more than anything she was humiliated.  She had never been spanked growing up.  The Angel Guild’s elementary schools would never dream of striking a child.  Physical violence was considered barbaric to all in the Angel Guild, but here, they obviously had different ideas about it.

When the ordeal was over, the principal courtly said, “Stop your blubbering and return to your seat.”  Rachel tried to stifle her crying, but couldn’t seem to stop.  Her breath came in racking sobs as she tried with all her might to stop crying.  A few of the kids snickered at her, but most sat upright in fear of the horror they had just witnessed.  Obviously, some of them weren’t use to physical discipline either.  When she reached her seat, she sat down quickly, trying to hide from the thousands of eyes watching her.  The moment her bottom hit the seat she cried out in shock from the painful welts on her bottom.

Principal Winehart slowly walked back behind the pulpit and stood staring at Rachel until she looked up.  She was still holding the thin rod she had used to lash Rachel’s bottom.  Rachel felt angry,  humiliated, and scared all at once.  The principal held her gaze for a while before a self-satisfied smile crossed her lips.

She looked around at the rest of the student body and said, “She has the most powerful and influential parents among you, but she is not above me in my own school.  Just the rest of you think about that the next time you think to open your mouths.”  The gym was silent.  Even the second-year students were sobered by what they had witnessed.  The principal finished her speech and sat down.  Several other faculty members spoke to the students, but Rachel didn’t hear a word of what was said.  She sat in her seat in a daze.  Sometime the students would clap.  Sometimes they would laugh, but Rachel just stared at her feet, wishing the day would end.

After the assembly the students returned to their classes.  Rachel noticed that they studiously ignored her.  Some went so far as to turn their heads away from her as they walked past.  Rachel filed out of the gym with the rest of the students, and into the hall.  She had no idea where her next class was, nor did she care.  She just started walking down the hall with the flow of students leaving the gym. 

David found her and asked her something.  His voice sounded like it was coming from the opening of a deep well.  She turned to him and asked, “What?”

David smiled his goofy smile, and took her notebook from her hand, opening it up to her schedule.  “Ah, economics.  I know where that is, I’ll walk you.”

Rachel nodded numbly, and walked with David to her next class.  He was jabbering on about how he was sorry the principal had done that to her and how he knew she wasn’t use to that kind of punishment.  She hardly heard a word of what he was saying.  When they got to her economics class, David said his goodbyes and left her standing in the doorway.  Rachel could see the kids inside pointing and whispering to one another.  Tears filled her eyes, and she turned and ran down the hall.

She bumped into several students along the way, they yelled at her, but she didn’t stop nor did she hear a word of what they were saying.  She ran until she was at the front entrance of the school.  She saw the light of day beaming in through the glass doors of the large entryway, and ran for them.  Before she knew it, she was halfway home, and her lungs were burning with the effort to keep her panting.  She had a painful stitch in her side, and had to stop to catch her breath.  Her heaving panting turned into sobs, and she fell to her hands and knees, half crying and half gasping for air.

She cried for a long while before she ran out of tears.  Once she was able to stop, she felt something deep within her.  It wasn’t anger, or hurt, or sadness, but it was a powerful feeling.  It was a feeling of determination and strength.  She had never felt the likes of this before.  She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she would never cry again.  She wiped her nose on the back of her hand and picked herself up.  With shaky arms, she wiped away the streams of tears from her face.  Some had already dried to salty streaks, but she didn’t care anymore. 

Her parents were the cause of all of this, she was certain.  She wanted nothing more to do with the politics of the Angel Guild.  She marched the rest of the way home, knowing nobody would be there.  When she got home, she went to her room and started packing her things.  She didn’t really have any idea where she was going, but she knew she didn’t want to be there anymore.  Once she had a bag full of clothes, she went to the kitchen, and got some bread, and peanut butter and jelly.  She stuffed them in with her clothes and zipped the bag closed.  She didn’t want there to be any question as to where she went, so she decided to leave a note.  She wanted her parents to know that they had brought this on themselves.  She wanted them to hurt like she hurt, know that they had driven her away.

She put the pen to the paper and started to write:

Dear Mom and Dad,

                I cannot bear to live with the Angel Guild’s dictates anymore.  They seem to be constantly contradicting themselves, and I’m tired of hearing them all the time.  I can’t do anything right! I’m tired of feeling smothered all the time, so I’m running away.

                You ruined my life today when you came to my school and threatened my principal.  She struck me ten times with a rod in front of the entire school.  I have never been so humiliated in all of my life, and it’s all your fault.  I can never forgive you.  This is just the last thing in a long line of horrible things I’ve had to endure because I’m the daughter of the Angel Guild leaders.  The Angel Guild is full of hypocrites and so are its leaders.

                Don’t bother coming to look for me.  I’m never coming home, and I don’t want  to have anything to do with this family, or this guild ever again.

                Rachel

                Rachel read the letter over several times, thinking about changing different parts, but finally decided to just keep it the way she wrote it.  She picked up her bag and walked to the door.  Her stomach gave a little flurry when she opened the door and looked back into her house for the last time.  She took a deep breath, and closed the door behind her.

Roman (Saints and Sinners)

      Roman (Saints and Sinners) by Kennedy Streath (Nya Rawlyns)is a YA Romance/Dark Fantasy.  I'm not exactly sure why Mrs. Rawlyns felt she needed a different pen name for this book, except that maybe she wanted to have a different standing for YA than her usual adult work.  And I do mean "Adult Work".  She has a score of Adult Romance novels out, so going into this, I was very wary.  I don't mind Romance, and I don't even mind a sex scene or two in a novel if they aren't too explicit, but when the whole book is smut, I can't turn the page.  The only reason I agreed to review this work was that it was YA, and I hoped that the smut would be toned down for the kiddos.  

     Okay, before I start the review, I need to get a monkey off my back.  I'm part of so many writer's forums, blogs, support groups, and Facebook pages I can't even keep track of most of them.  I always see the question, "Why don't publishers like the omniscient narrative voice?"  Well, I've read a couple of professionally published works where they author, with, I'm sure, the help of editors, made it work.  I've also been reading a lot of indie work from authors who don't have the benefit of all of that professional help.  Omniscient Narrative is very, VERY, hard to do well.  It can be very confusing and jarring to read when not done well.  I'm all but convinced that a single author, no matter how talented, can not accomplish the task alone.  It's the biggest critique I have of this book.  Don't use an omniscient voice.  When I have to go back an read something over again because I don't know who is talking/thinking what, I get put in a surly mood.  Especially when thoughts are italicized without lead-in or lead-out tags annotating who is speaking/thinking.  TJ's thoughts are thrown in in the middle of other character's sentences.  There are better ways to portray thoughts and feelings.

     Okay, on to the review.  Theresa Jane (TJ) just lost her no-good mother, and is forced to move in with her no-good father who abandoned them when she was five.  Typical premise for this type of YA novel.  

     A strange young man named Roman is living with her father.  He's on probation for a crime which has been sealed, and even the police don't seem to want to talk about.  The only advice her brother tells her before shipping off is to stay away from the boy.  You know the old saying, "the best way to get a girl to do something is to tell her not to do it"?  Well, it works.  The mysterious bad boy is an immediate obsession for TJ, even against her own will.  She finds herself drawn to him, wondering about everything about him.  Her dreams are even riddled with the essence of him.  That part is borderline too adult for a YA book, but I digress.  

     It becomes quickly apparent, however, that there is more going on with Roman than just your typical street tough teen.  The lead-ins for this are actually brilliant.  I have to tip my hat to Mrs. Rawlyns for not giving away too much too fast.  The characters are built very carefully, and even with the whinny, poor-picked-on-me, school girl premise, I didn't hate TJ.  She's not completely self-absorbed like most YA protagonists seem to be.  I'm certain the YA audience will love her.

     There are strange things happening in the mine just outside of town.  And the towns people all refer to it as, "the same thing that happened four years ago".  Four years ago is about the time Roman showed up.  There is also a dark contract involved...

     The story is actually quite good.  The characters are well developed.  I cringed a little whenever things heated up between Roman and TJ, just because of the other books Mrs. Rawlyns has written, and she did a pretty good job staving off the inevitable, but, right towards the end, she gave in to her writing habits.  A couple of sixteen year-olds going at it... It was kind of a shame because the rest of the book was rather good.  I don't think teens need more sex and passion.  That one little slip, in my opinion, made the book unsuitable for YA.  Even though it wasn't too explicit.  So, that's my only other criticism; write for kids, or write for adults.  Don't put too many adult ideas into kids' minds who can barely contain their hormones as it is.

     I would have given this book 4-5 stars if not for the end.  As it stands  I give it